“Exposure” riiiight…nice try sasquatch

Idk if these guys were used to the outdoors, but TV makes the shit look easy, or at least not too bad. Dude, nature is fuckin whack compared to suburban life, and it does not give a fuck. It’s still very, very easy to drive a few miles to some woods, go into them unprepared for what you plan to do, and have a real bad time. It’s also unfortunate because there’s a lot of bad advice out there, and a lot of stuff that sounds easy on paper, but you need time and resources to get your skills right in practice. Source: I’ve done my share of Michael-Scott-ass adventures in the woods.

Natural selection in action

Such a weak cover story.

I was going to make an inappropriate joke, but i felt bad about it. i realized i respect sasquatch hunters more than ceos. hm. seems correct.

Hypothermia happens fast when literally everything is soaking wet like it is there every winter. The hills have little valleys all cut through them and under growth so dense you can sit down five feet from a trail and be invisible. Stay on the paths, stay warm, and don’t take risks. Grown men do not last the night, and sometimes rescuers do not find you until they literally step on you.

Exposure to Sasquatch’s dick probably.

Should have gone Brokeback Mountain.

There’s a channel 5 story about big foot hunters, I actually love those guys

"And then the Samsquanch came right up to us and asked us for tree fiddy.
And I said ‘Stand back, woman! That ain’t no Samsquanch, that a Loch Ness Monster!’.
But then the Loch Ness Monster was pissed that we had uncovered his disguise and that’s when ManBearPig grabbed 2 guys and killed them with exposure’

But they don’t live at Gifford National Park, they live in the Uwharries, North Carolina.