Like what do I even do at this point. Its a free app and these reviews hurt app store performance,

  • @SPRUNT
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    417 minutes ago

    "This oven is horrible! 0 stars! Everything my wife makes on it or in it tastes terrible, "

    Sorry, yo. Ya can’t fix stupid.

  • @jaybone
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    322 minutes ago

    I thought reddit killed third party apps? Or are you paying the $10,000,000 per month or whatever it is?

  • edric
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    449 minutes ago

    I hope there’s a way to have the review removed for being irrelevant. I love your app btw, please keep it up. The only issue that’s kinda annoying right now is that I lose my place in the feed when I swipe back out from a post.

    • @[email protected]
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      272 hours ago

      Or recipe reviews.

      “I didn’t have flour, so I substituted lard. I also didn’t have sugar, so I substituted salted cod. Worst cake ever. 1 star.”

    • @olympicyes
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      62 hours ago

      I read somewhere that the best places to eat are Yelp 2 star places where the reviewer whines about service. It suggests the reviewer wanted to give a 1 star review because they were mad but had to concede that the food was good, hence 2 stars.

    • @[email protected]
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      163 hours ago

      I loved this idea it was exactly what was described but I wanted a different color 1/5 stars

  • @db2
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    2 hours ago

    You’re responding to a Steve sock puppet account. It might not be him on the other end, likely it isn’t, but it’s his. He wants all the money and doesn’t like to share because he’s a greedy little pigboy.

  • @Letme
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    163 hours ago

    Reddit is so liberal /s

      • @Letme
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        11 hour ago

        The pizzeria?!? It all maQes sense now

        • @Mrkawfee
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          124 minutes ago

          I would mind pizzerias running things tbh

  • @Bosht
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    384 hours ago

    What a fucking idiot holy shit.

  • @PalmTreeIsBestTree
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    3 hours ago

    I see this all the time on user reviews. A quarter of them are just people bitching about partisan politics.

  • Admiral Patrick
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    1526 hours ago

    Standard reply:

    Dear sir or madam:

    Some crackpot has written me an abusive message, and it seems they used your account to send it. I’m replying to you as a courtesy in case you wish to take action against this lunatic.

      • Admiral Patrick
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        286 hours ago

        Not that, specifically, though it might be indirectly?

        I’m basing it off of one of Gyles Brandreth’s yarns where he described how he dealt with abusive constituents when he was a MP.

        Dear sir or madam:

        Some crackpot has written me an abusive letter, and they’ve signed your name at the bottom. […]

        Whether he came up with that or adapted it from something prior, I don’t know.

    • @MeekerThanBeaker
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      3 hours ago

      Is there a They/Them for Sir or Madam? Must include that as well.

      • @[email protected]
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        119 minutes ago

        Not that I know of. Unless someone has stated their gender or pronouns, I just use people’s names and avoid anything that assumes or implies gender.

      • @[email protected]
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        -22 hours ago

        If you believe my therapist friend who is also non-normative in a relevant fashion, demands for pronouns are often ‘othering’ in result, and thus go from farce to force.

        So, I write fewer email.

  • The Picard Maneuver
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    746 hours ago

    That’s like being mad at the bus because your chosen destination for the day sucked.

  • @cm0002
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    446 hours ago

    Classic right-wing nut “You have to listen and like what I say or it’s CeNSOrShIp”

    • dual_sport_dork 🐧🗡️
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      205 hours ago

      Probably. I have no experience with the Google Play Store end of things, but we’ve gotten non-reviews written by crackpots removed from our Google Business profile by just pointing out to Google that they were either off topic or from someone who we could not identify in any of our records as being a person who actually did business with us.

      For example, there was one guy who went around copy-pasting the same one star rant to seemingly every retail business in the city whining about mask requirements during COVID, which didn’t have jack monkey squat do to with us and was in fact a state government mandate that we did not control. As a public business we have to comply with the law. Google took that one down when we reported it, although I still see examples of the same screed from the same guy attached to other businesses who apparently didn’t have the wherewithal to complain.

      I imagine “app that serves third party content the author doesn’t control and reviewer is complaining about the content not the app” is a situation that is very well understood at Google. Whether or not you can make them give a shit is a different question…

    • Baron Von J
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      53 hours ago

      I’m on Android so I didn’t look into OP’s app. I just went looking into it after this post. Apparently if you create your own developer app ID and patch an app to use yours instead, I guess your usage is too low for Reddit to bill. Something like that.