Not sure if I’m asking a question, or just ranting. I have conflicted feelings with bottom dysphoria. When I was in my late teens and early 20s I used to get pretty strong bottom dysphoria. I repressed it considerably and ‘it went away’ (lol). Sure a vagina would be great, but right now I don’t care about tucking, or peeing standing or seeing the thing hang in between my legs while showering.

Sex, however, is a different story. Before transitioning I always was a dominant top. I thought it was what I wanted at least, but I’m starting to question how much I was just playing the role I was expected to play in a cis heteronormative relationship. I started moving away from that role in my relationship with my girlfriend once I started my transition, but today I was horny, like, testosterone horny and by God did I want to hold down my girlfriend and fuck the everloving daylights out of her. So that’s what I did. The sex was great, soft, slow sensual and intimate, the orgasm was mmm, and the cuddling was lovely.

But after? I am unexpectedly dysphoric, my girly self feels like is gone and my mind feels like it regressed to the first couple weeks of my transition. What the fuck? Is it just the hormones? Or I just can’t be a top now? How can the sex be this good only to be left reeling?

…Anybody had similar experiences?