There’s this guy I’m friends with (18M) and he flirts with all his friends and jokes around with them, except for me.
He certainly doesn’t hate me. He sits by me, talks to me, asks me questions, and smiles when he sees me. He also considers me a friend.
We were talking about foreign languages together, and he brought up that I want to learn their language to his family :)
He’s also in some Honors classes that I’m not in, so he helps me with the work, and I help him in return with English (literature).
Maybe it’s just awkward for him?
I should perhaps add that I don’t have many classes with him, and the classes I do have with him, I’m quite shy (but working on it). He also appears to have slight internalized homophobia with a religious family. (So he’s fine with LGBT but is homophobic towards himself and denies it.)
Obviously, he’s fine with making gay jokes and secretly dated a guy (only his friends knew) but he was very shy and discreet about it. I should probably also add that even though he usually flirts with his friends (because of this, some of his exes thinks he’s into them despite treating most people like this), he seemed to be more serious/shy and less flirty with his partners (especially the guy), with a shy “I love you” sometimes.
Despite me being nonbinary, I’m AMAB and therefore most people see me as male, though I’m not sure about him (I haven’t come out to him yet as im fine with any gender/pronouns but several people have referred to me with they or she and he was in the vicinity.)
In my experience, people are weird. There are so many variables that no one outsider could possibly get it right based off the limited information we have. Off the top of my head we have: Option 1) he knows for a fact he doesn’t like you that way. Option 2) he treats you different because he DOES like you that way. Option 3) he treats you different because he knows you like him that way. Option 4) you are misunderstanding his “flirting” with others and he actually treats you all the same.
Thanks, it has to be Options 1-3 then because he does flirt as a joke, like saying he’s gay, calling the guy friends his “boyfriend/hubby”, or saying “You’re so hot!/I’m gonna kiss you!!”
He holds the hands of usually men but sometimes women, smacks their butts, and calls the girls his “girlfriend/wifey” (with their consent obv)
Hopefully it’s not Option 3, I haven’t told anyone and tried not to make it obvious (especially by giving people the same amount of treatment as him rather than just spending time with him)
You’re just gonna have to talk to him, I think.
It could be that he doesn’t see you that way, and it will hurt if that’s the case.
It could also be that he flirts to be silly and doesn’t realize he’s filtering that out with someone he would actually want to follow through with.
You can puzzle over it or you can take action and find out.
I can vouch for this as a dude. I only ever really flirt as a joke with people I’m not into. When I’m into someone I tend to ironically be less flirtatious with them.
Thanks! To be fair, I’ve known him for a while and I’ve never seen him flirt with anyone he’s been into
Additionally, he’s shy and tends to flirt less and be more serious with the people he’s dated.
He actually may like you from the added information given. Plus, if he’s acting weird, from what I’ve seen, that’s actually a good sign because most people act odd around their crushes.
You’ll likely never know if you don’t ask him, though, internalized homophobia or not. I acted weird around the woman I liked, but I never knew she liked me too until I asked her. She became my girlfriend.
I’d advise you not to ask other people, though, especially not his exes if they think he still likes them.
aww <3
if you really wanna make advances, send clear signals. some people can be dumb, and i’ve sometimes only realized much later when somebody flirted with me.
if you feel ready for that.
edit: also btw, where do you live? it’s because i wanna live there too 👉 👈
Thank you so much!
Illinois, actually :,)
if no one sees this, try an advice community or an lgbt one (bisexual, lgbtq+, etc). like i said but i think u deleted it, he may not treat u like his other friends because he doesn’t view you as a friend ?
he seems to like u but idk if it’s platonic or not
