• @[email protected]
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    133 hours ago

    What if one day you woke up and your nipples were completely gone like no scars or anything just flat skin and then once you leave your room you find out your dad died last night and several days later you find out that your entire life he had been sneaking in your room while you slept and sucking on your chest to make two gigantic hickeys where your nipples should be because you were born without them not for any sexual reason just so you would fit in…

  • @[email protected]
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    24 hours ago

    Well, it obviously wouldn’t boil, but if you left it in water long enough, it will rehydrate. I’m not certain that we actually do anything by “cooking” spaghetti other than rehydrating it.

    • @[email protected]
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      3 hours ago

      Noodles are composed mostly of starches and heat causes gelatinization: which gives noodles their texture, taste, and holds them together. It also kills off any pathogens, which is a good things since it’s fairly common for raw flour to be contaminated with E. coli and Salmonella.

      Cold water causes them to revert back to wet flour.

  • AgentOrangesicle
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    78 hours ago

    “See, Marge, I told you they could deep fry my shirt.” “I didn’t say THEY COULDN’T, I said YOU SHOULDN’T.”

  • mechoman444
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    4718 hours ago

    … … … Be back in ten minutes.

  • @[email protected]
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    1 day ago

    You can, and it kind of does. Back in my 20s, when my nipples were still pierced, I tried this when I was really drunk. Thank goodness, the pictures have been deleted.

    So much for “thoughts I’ve never had before”

    • @[email protected]
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      512 hours ago

      I’ve had mine done for… god decades now and I’ve never had that thought even as an intrusion…

      But now I will, damnit…

    • @InnerScientist
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      6523 hours ago

      If I had a nickel for every time someone thought of boiling pasta by showering with it piercing their nipple, I’d have two nickels-- which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

    • @Remember_the_tooth
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      481 day ago

      Well, go on, spare no detail. Was this real Italian durum wheat? What kind of sauce?

  • @finitebanjo
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    16 hours ago

    Cooking dried carbohydrates such as pasta and rice generally depends more on temperature than moisture. You could use instant noodles but definitely not an egg or rice noodle.

    In fact, Rice cooks above 100C meaning in order to slow or prevent the water from boiling away without cooking the rice you need to add pressure and potentially some salt to increase the boil temp.

    • @[email protected]
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      5 hours ago

      Most starches gelatinize between 60°C to 80°C. Including rice, which has starches that gelatinize between 59°C and 72°C.

      Not sure where you’re getting the idea that rice needs to cook above 100°C, which is just plainly inconsistent with how most cultures have cooked rice for thousands of years.

      Most rice noodles are formed from pre-gelatinized starches, too, in order to form the dough necessary for forming into noodle shapes to begin with. So those just need to be hydrated, and perhaps heated for personal taste preferences.

    • @Dasus
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      512 hours ago

      Dude. You can cook rice noodles in cold water.

      I usually put large rice noodles to cold-ish water for about 45-60 min depending on the noodles.

      So having a hot shower with rice vermicelli in your nipples will definitely cook them and in a matter of minutes.

      • @finitebanjo
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        216 hours ago

        It would take a lot of salt to have a large noticeable difference, but I like to believe it helps.

        As a very loose and unreliable rule of thumb for every 5% salt you raise the water’s boiling point by about a degree, but anything more than 2500 mg is over your daily recommended value: each cup of water is 236,588 mg so 5% of 2 cups water would be 23,658 mg.

        But it’s not wrong to say adding salt helps cook rice, just not by a noticeable amount.

        • @[email protected]
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          15 hours ago

          5% salinity is inedibly salty. You will ruin your pasta or rice, flavor wise. The health effects are not relevant because nobody will actually finish eating an entire serving.

        • @[email protected]
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          27 hours ago

          I think it certainly helps with flavour if nothing else, but I don’t think the extra degree or so in temperature would make much difference.

          Though saying that, I’m now wondering to what extent rice cooking would be affected by high altitudes — I had a friend who lived somewhere high altitude in South America for a while, and she said that the low atmospheric pressure meant cooking certain foods was difficult because the water boiled at a lower temperature (I wish I could remember more specifics)

  • @[email protected]
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    919 hours ago

    How much butter could a butter churn churn if a butter churn could churn butter? I asked AI and it gave me this big long explanation that started with the history of butter churning and ended up with some facts about the traditional way of making yak butter which I did not even know was a thing but it is and that thing is butter.

  • @TropicalDingdong
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    271 day ago
    Many times we've been out drinking
    And many times we've shared our thoughts
    But did you ever, ever notice
    The kind of thoughts I got?
    
  • CubitOom
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    1623 hours ago

    I think I would prefer a simple nipple piercing pasta portioner, cause I always have a hard time figuring out how much to cook.

      • @[email protected]
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        7 hours ago

        I eat like 150g + 100g minced pork yet I can never climb out of underweight bmi like even if I tried hard and I think I did try many times

        After all it became a feature not a bug cause I can stuff myself with anything, 175g beef burgers with fried sweet potatoes and nothing changes with my weight. I hope it stays like this forever

        On the other hand sometimes I forget about food all together until 5 PM because I have been hyper focused on something for hours and often I treat food like a sims bar that has to be filled and a distraction unless I really crave something

        I don’t understand snacks like give me some beef instead. I want meat, chicken you know, mmm fried chicken

      • idunnololz
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        110 hours ago

        I have a scale and normally weigh 140g for one meal. I might be fat. :x

        • thisisbutaname
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          17 hours ago

          It depends on your lifestyle obviously. I have a sedentary job so I need to be a bit mindful of what I put inside my body

          • idunnololz
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            21 hour ago

            I too have a sendentary job haha

      • CubitOom
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        21 hours ago

        True. I think it depends if pasta is the main or just a side dish. But weighing spaghetti on a scale is pretty cumbersome.

        I’m just imagining the infomercial of some guy knocking the plate off the scale and then spaghetti is all over the floor saying there’s got to be a better way and then another guy comes up, and rips off his shirt to reveal his spaghetti portoner nipple ring.

        • thisisbutaname
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          17 hours ago

          That being cumbersome sounds weird to me, but it’s probably due to me always having a scale with a bowl at the ready, so it might be different for others

          • @Dasus
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            312 hours ago

            I’ve never thought about my spaghetti weight wise. I usually put like a bit less than half a 500g box/package. So ~200ish grams. But I usually eat twice out of it so, yeah guess the guy saying 100g is pretty accurate.

  • @HeyThisIsntTheYMCA
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    420 hours ago

    Do it twice. Buccatini (i think I’m spelling that wrong) stuffed with angel hair.

    • @[email protected]
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      15 hours ago

      Gauging with pasta: angel hair, thin spaghetti, spaghetti, thick spaghetti, bucatini, penne, rigatoni, all the way up through big-ass cannelloni.