“With the near trillion dollar sell-off on the Nasdaq alone earlier yesterday, the rapid devaluing of assets has allowed the American public unparalleled access to cheap stocks and shares on the market.”

Economic spokesman for the White House, Chuck Williams, claimed, “People use words like slump, looming economic depression, lowest recorded IQ of any president ever, as though they’re bad things.

    • @grue
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      610 hours ago

      There’s a falling knife going on, with the floor nowhere near.

  • Gigameister
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    2613 hours ago

    i always fall down with laughter when u guys do stuff like this!

    Please keep it up!

  • @[email protected]
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    912 hours ago

    Caught this one right away when they used “philanthropist” and “Trump” in the same sentence, and it wasn’t “Trump is not a philanthropist”.

  • @[email protected]
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    211 hours ago

    Good to see a bona fide Onion article instead of the ‘we have the Onion at home’ slop every other media outlet has been pushing lately. Brings a tear to the eye.