Me to my homie when we get out of the pool and theres water in his ear

You see, by laying on your left side, you’ll be able to fart and your gas pain will go away.

Ugh… this headache is killing me

“What a drama queen! I quoted him 100. It was a fair price.”

“But RFK Jr says this will prevent polio”

“I got an orbee stuck in my ear, guys!”

Do you think he’s alright guys?

“I’mma jus gon lay here for, a coupla hours”
“Man dont sweat it dude, we gonna catch some stuff”
“I dont know, I’m kinda tired”
“Nah we’ve gotta basket, we’re gonna fill that basket before we go”
“Alright bruh”
“Cos the other fish is better”

i’d love to know the title of this one, it’s epic

This is why you don’t stick things in your ear, Edward.

If I die here, tell my ancestors to make a cute anime girl with cloths as yellow as mine. They will know what this means.

Gotta be a better way to get a pope’s tears

The papal beverage fountain was a smash hit at the Vampire wedding.

Frankenstein’s monster getting his nuts checked

For anyone wondering, it’s this one:

https://www.museothyssen.org/en/collection/artists/preti-workshop-mattia/martyrdom-saint-januarius

“Cor, he’s a funny colour. No wonder the lions wouldn’t eat 'im.”