“Guys, TikTok’s predatory and socially corrosive behavior needs to be addressed, so we require a company known far and wide for their impeccable integrity and commitment to ethics. Oh, hey, I know…!”
Edit: In case any of the younger TikTok crowd doesn’t know who Larry Ellison is, let me summarize it for you: Run. Run as swiftly as the wind, and don’t stop to look back. Whatever you liked about TikTok? Yeah, that’s over. Stop reading this and just run you fools.
The old joke: Know what Oracle stands for? One Raging Asshole Called Larry Ellison
There is much truth in jest, as the saying goes
What is the difference between Larry Ellison and God? God doesn’t want to be Larry Ellison.
Alternatively: Do you know the difference between Larry Ellison and God? Neither does Larry Ellison.
“What’s the difference between Oracle and the Boy Scouts?”
“The Boy Scouts are led by adults”
I remember it being Rich Asshole, but I guess either one works
We’re living in an oraclarchy.
That is the messiest, least palatable mouth feel portmanteau I’ve ever had the displeasure of pronouncing. I will be stealing that.
I think it’s run by Larvid Ellison
Sounds like an Elden Ring boss. Larvid Ellison, the fused
Do not fall into the trap of anthropomorphising Larry Ellison. You need to think of Larry Ellison the way you think of a lawnmower. You don’t anthropomorphize your lawnmower, the lawnmower just mows the lawn, you stick your hand in there and it’ll chop it off, the end. You don’t think ‘oh, the lawnmower hates me’ – lawnmower doesn’t give a shit about you, lawnmower can’t hate you. Don’t anthropomorphize the lawnmower. Don’t fall into that trap about Oracle.
Out of the frying pan and into the fire
That isn’t any better.
Time to leave TikTok. Now.
Way ahead of you: I never signed up for that trash
Never understood the appeal of a constant stream of short form videos so I missed that bus as well. Don’t regret it one bit.
The appeal isn’t the format of the content per se, it’s the algorithm. The way it learns exactly what will keep you swiping makes it addictively entertaining.
Been blocking it at the router for years.
That’s going to be a laggy-ass algorithm. Don’t try to predict more than one video at once or the whole thing will freeze up.
And the back button will break the entire app.
I love how it straight up says in the error message that you pressed a browser button.
wheres pj when you need to track a whole other set of oracle bullsit?
I will delete Tik tok once the sale happens. I encourage everyone else to do the same if you are still on it when it sells.
Why not delete it now? In fact why not block them at the network level via DNS or IP filtering too while you’re at it since their tracking scripts are all over websites and apps and don’t really care whether you have an account?
Huh. Not palintir? Color me surprised.
Merger anyone?
