I am NOT OP. Original post by u/DaddyDorr94 in r/relationship_advice
Possibly ongoing, more updates to follow.
My (M28) Wife (F26) has scammed multiple people, and lied to me about it. - 7th August 2023
So about a week ago, I got this Facebook message from some lady saying that my wife scammed her out of some money shipping baby clothes. I went to my wife about it before talking to the lady, and my wife said “I’ve never seen this lady in my life, she’s just trying to get you to send her $30.” She then went on to block the lady, and that was that. Well this morning I got a message request from a different lady saying how my wife scammed her out of $120, and sent me screenshots of her and my wife’s conversation and transactions. I unblocked the other lady, and she also sent me conversations and transactions. And apparently THERE ARE OTHERS. So I now have 3 ladies in my DMs with proof that my wife scammed them out of money, lied to them about having a miscarriage, and saying she was on bed rest and couldn’t. (She’s at work as a bartender rn, she’s not on no damn bed rest)
The thing that irks me the most is how quick she was to lie to me and block the lady. It didn’t feel right, but I thought oh well, she wouldn’t lie about something like this. Now I’m just sitting here wondering how much more she’s lied about, and don’t feel like I can even trust her.
My wife doesn’t know I have all of this information, any idea of what I should do next?
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Her reaction is a bit sus. She just said “I’ve never seen her before. She’s trying to get money from you”? I’d be all WTF? Who is this? Why do they think that??? Give me their details so I can clear this up.
I’d put a hold on my credit and check all my accounts TBH. If it turns out she’s really doing this I’d find and attorney divorce. If these people are genuine victims and they found you they can find your friends, family and employer.
OOP
Her reaction was what drove me to believe these people. Took my phone and blocked this lady and denied denied denied. Buuut from the messages this lady had with my wife, I fully believe my wife scammed her. And on top she LIED to them. Said I shipped their packages, lied and said she had a miscarriage and had to be bed ridden, and basically just tried to play the victim the entire time when she had no intentions of giving this lady her stuff. (Even “sold” her some clothing she already gave to somebody else)
It wasn’t that odd to me either, but how quick she was to block the lady is what I found a bit suspicious, buuut I didn’t do anything bc I believed her. Apparently the OG lady made a post on some moms group fb page and that’s how they all found me. PLUS like a week ago, my wife just randomly deleted her Facebook account. And it lines up exactly for when the OG lady threatened to make a public post about my wife
They paid her on a PayPal, that isn’t her actual PayPal, she’s at work rn, but I’m going to try to do some digging into that later, buuut basically that whole Facebook group has my wife on a “no sell list” bc this isn’t the first time this has happened apparently. (The OG lady who contacted me invited me and showed me the public post she made shaming my wife for what she did)
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Talk to her about why she’s doing it and what else she’s lied about, she should be worried about the police too
OOP
I don’t think she’ll be honest at this point. I got invited to the fb group my wife sold this stuff in, and they have a whole like 3 posts talking about how she’s on a ban list, and she’s cheated people out of money etc.
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If someone told my husband I was scamming them, I would be out of my mind! I would certainly want to get to the bottom of it!!! I would turn into Sherlock Holmes, figure out what happened, make public posts about a scammer stealing my identity, and figure a way to put an end to all of it. Seems a little odd, the way your wife brushed it off and just blocked them on your phone. Wouldn’t you want to clear your name if that happened to you? So I agree it seems a little suspicious how she is behaving, I donno though.
OOP
I fully believed her at first! She’s given me 0 reason to not. Buuut through further investigation I completely believe it. There’s a whole moms group on fb that swaps baby clothes and they have her on a no sell list bc she’s done this sort of thing before apparently. Makes me really question what else she’s lied about
I was worried about that too! Which is why I didn’t go to my wife first. But after investigating most of the day, I believe my wife absolutely was the bad person here. They have her banned on this moms group bc she’s done this before apparently
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liars lie. this wont stop at facebook scamming, and it is only a matter of time before it hurts you much more directly.
OOP
That’s what I’m worried about. I work out of state too, so she would have plenty of opportunity to “lie” to me and I’d never know
Update 9th August 2023
I confronted my wife with all of the evidence that’s she 1000% did this including the money trail, and had my phone recording everything and a hidden security camera going to watch it all, and she still denied it all. And then told me I was a “joke of a husband” for not believing her in this whole ordeal. And she continued to berate me for about 45 minutes, and say just awful things. Anytime I would bring up a point she would just dismiss it and continue to gas light me. So I’m taking my 2 year old daughter, and going to my buddy’s house for the rest of the week.
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I am so sorry this happened to you. Honestly, I am in these Facebook groups and see women scamming all the time… it’s sad that it is affecting you. I hope for the best outcome for you and your family, whatever that may be.
I hate those type of people, they are horrid. Many are getting sued and partners are suffering for it. Even though your wife is the one doing it, they can come after you too or you may be stuck with the financial burden of her losing small claims cases. What she’s doing is sick. I’m so ssorr
Reminder - I am not OOP
deleted by creator
Sure does say “buuut” a lot.
She’s a fan of French soccer
Expliquez s’il vous plait ?
But (sound: boo) is how you celebrate a soccer goal in French.
I especially don’t understand why she did this. If finances were actually that dire, then surely OOP would have know about it and mentioned it. With OOP working out of state, you’d also hope that this job is worth the time…
I don’t get it either. Guessing it’s a small thrill from scamming people or she needs money for drugs.
The worst petty shoplifters are upper-middle class teenagers (generally girls)
It’s not out of need. It’s out of a sense of entitlement that they can get out of any consequences.
It’s not a sense of entitlement. It’s the adrenaline rush of stealing
Buuuuut
Why post another person’s story, our advice won’t help the original poster.
What’s the point?
Bestupdates is an archival community bringing together all the parts of a posted saga into one post. It’s not for giving advice to the original OP. To do that you should follow the info at the post start and link at the bottom to track down the original posts from the original OP.
tl;dr- this is a voyeur community, not an advice community
Aw shit, I apologize, I didn’t read the community, I thought I was on relationship advise or something.
Is this your story?
Christ on a bike man, read the first and last lines!
It was a joke, oh my gosh
I guess I should have put a tone indicator
Is this your story?
Is this your story?
Is this your story?
If I were to tell you that the first was a joke, the second sarcasm, and the third a genuine question, how would you differentiate them?
Remember that text is lifeless. There’s nothing there except the markings on the page.
Thus, you should never fault the reader for not getting your intention. It’s on you to make that clear.
I’m aware, I should have used a tone indicator.
