hi. its me. i took a long break. just take a look at @[email protected] if you wanna see how shitty a person i was and how bad my mental health was. i said people hated me for my autism but maybe not everyone was against me, and maybe it wasn’t my autism. maybe we were all just shitty people.

hell, i posted my SUICIDE online with a voice recording. i acknowledge that i wasn’t right in the head, please forgive me for the things i’ve done.

people have called me a troll in the past, i can guarantee that i’m not, i was just a mentally sick teen.

but in case anyone was wondering what happened to me or if i was still alive, i am :)

does anyone remember me? i hope not lol…

  • seathru@quokk.auEnglish
    22·
    10 days ago

    Looking back on your past and cringing just means you are growing as a person.

    • faltrykaEnglish
      6·
      10 days ago

      I remind myself of this whenever I remember something I’m embarrassed about or ashamed of. Feeling bad about the memory means you’re a better person now than you were then.

  • 0ops@piefed.zipEnglish
    4·
    10 days ago

    For what it’s worth, not sure if I remember you, but I was never good at names, even fake internet names. I’ll take your word for it tbh, I don’t feel like digging through post history haha.

    A mighty “hell yeah” for you being back and healthier though! I could just be projecting here but I imagine most people have regrets about their past behavior (believe me as a borderline I do), and if they don’t…well here’s your reminder that you’re no Jesus. So I hope you aren’t being too hard on yourself, because look, you’re here a better person than yesterday, and that’s pretty dope.

  • PronellEnglish
    4·
    10 days ago

    Hey, forgive yourself for that cringe behavior, honestly.

    Looking back on that time and beating yourself up will not help.

    Have compassion for your former self and thank them for letting you grow.

    Remembering rewrites a memory, so remembering mindfully is important. If you hate those memories, they will continue to poison you, but forgiving yourself and others continues to pay off.

  • hono4kami@piefed.socialEnglish
    4·
    10 days ago

    I’m gonna repeat what the top commenter said–the fact that you wrote this at all means that you’ve grown as a person. That’s far better than a lot of people including many people around me

  • dingusEnglish
    2·
    10 days ago

    I’m glad you’re doing better! I can’t say I have ever really paid attention to people’s usernames on the internet before, but it’s good to hear of a positive thing! Life is hard man. It’s all about finding the little things that can make you happy. Hope you stick around and have fun.

  • NutinButNet@hilariouschaos.comEnglish
    2·
    10 days ago

    Everyone has stuff they cringe about themselves. If you don’t, you’re probably doing cringe-worthy things lol.

    Like others said, you’re growing and this is maturity.

    Plus, don’t feel bad about what you did when you felt suicidal. You clearly were not right in the head. I hope you are doing better now.

    At least you can say that for yours. Some of the stuff that keeps me up at night is just me being a dumb kid lol…I remember posting on Facebook about “hacking” when I was talking about rooting my phone using tools that were publicly available. Ughhhhhhhhhhh that shit lives with me daily. One acquaintance called me out on it that real hackers don’t post their shit online and I just shrivel up and cringe inside whenever my mind randomly reminds me of that.

    Take care. You’ll have more as you grow into adulthood, as we all do.