We are truly living in an Idiocracy. What kind of headline is this?

  • @YourBrainOnScience
    link
    571 year ago

    I can’t believe this is a real story.

    Why can’t they be like normal billionaires and just go outside and play with their submersibles?

    • @aparadizzle
      link
      101 year ago

      I’d rather see them have a duel at dawn, or whenever.

  • @muaveri
    link
    341 year ago

    So zuccyboy called musk and said, hey elon my metatrap is not getting any free publicity lately & your blue bird looks kinda dead, do you have any ideas? Sure, let’s stage some fake mma bs so that everybody can talk about, Joe will do some small talk for the populi about our everyday struggles, shinning different light on our cumbersome lives and we profit again. Great idea loonyboy, I’m in.

  • @maggoats
    link
    251 year ago

    I had to look this up because I thought it was fake.

    What the fuck is wrong with these people?

      • @hermitix_world
        link
        71 year ago

        More billionaires in cage matches and submarines plz

    • @ShadyGrove
      link
      71 year ago

      I really thought this was an onion article. I’m still not convinced it isn’t yet.

  • @Dark_Blade
    link
    231 year ago

    I swear, the world’s turned into a parody of itself without any of us realizing it. Where’s the fucking cameras?

    • @cley_faye
      link
      151 year ago

      We realize. There’s just no way to stop this right now.

  • @dethb0y
    link
    231 year ago

    We do, in fact, live in the dumbest possible timeline.

  • @MyOpinion
    link
    201 year ago

    The Zuck has a lot of training. Musk is a fat roll. Not a good matchup.

    • @Buffaloaf
      link
      161 year ago

      Plus, Zuckerberg doesn’t feel pain. He doesn’t feel anything.

      • @WetBeardHairs
        link
        111 year ago

        What if Zuckerberg just unhinges his jaw and swallows Musk whole? I hope the ref doesn’t interfere.

    • @orclev
      link
      61 year ago

      Ultimately it doesn’t matter, it’s a win all around as they both need a good ass kicking. I’d cheer every punch no matter who threw it because the one receiving it deserves it.

    • @STUPIDVIPGUY
      link
      31 year ago

      Actually it’s a great matchup cause we get to see musk get pummeled.

      • @Dark_Blade
        link
        11 year ago

        Pillsbury Doughmusk’s gonna become the lizard’s lunch.

    • @Asafum
      link
      21 year ago

      I think with musks last comment about “the walrus” he is going to say he was obviously kidding and won’t actually do anything… A shame really. :(

  • @Waitwuhtt
    link
    171 year ago

    My money is on the Zuck, he’s got that BJJ and Elon looks like a chicken nugget.

    • @fritter
      link
      101 year ago

      Zuck’s gonna tear him apart; he’s got that android strength.

  • @kat
    link
    171 year ago

    The first time I saw this headline I thought it was from one of those Onion offshoot websites and skimmed it over. I can’t believe it’s real, but I’m both delighted and dumbfounded that it is!

    I choose to believe they’re doing this for our entertainment. Out of the goodness of their hearts. Things have been rough lately and we all need a little silliness and fun. Thanks, guys!

    • @guyman
      link
      41 year ago

      I think there was a weird reddit post awhile back where a guy saw Mark in his karate class. I dunno, rich people are people too and I guess this is a win-win for both of them. They get to live their rich lives, and it’s a spectacular publicity stunt.

      • @scutiger
        link
        51 year ago

        Zuckerberg has actually been winning BJJ competitions.

        • @CinnerB
          link
          101 year ago

          Musk has a LOT more weight on him and I believe some height too.

          I just want to see Elon’s jibblies jobbling all over the place. Flippity flappity I want to see this happity.

  • @Holyginz
    link
    161 year ago

    Hopefully they off each other.

    • @Eldritch
      link
      31 year ago

      Yes because with any other scenario no matter who wins we lose.

  • @half
    link
    161 year ago

    Why’s everybody seething with rage? This is hilarious. It’s easy to get bent out of shape when the flaws of powerful people have a disproportionate effect on others, but those flaws are, in themselves, an indication that the humanity has not yet been completely purged from industrialized society.

    Okay, you hate the rich. I understand, but we’ve been dealing with them since we noticed that grain grows better on certain land, and we’ll be stuck dealing with them until individuals can freely convert matter and energy. Okay, these guys are egomaniacal man babies. They’re taking it out on each other! Honestly, would you rather they resolved their differences and cut a deal to (further) integrate Meta and Twitter? Let them fight.

    • @kat
      link
      41 year ago

      I like this attitude and I agree! It’s your turn to be here for our entertainment, silly rich manbabies. Dance for us!

      • @Dark_Blade
        link
        11 year ago

        What a great way to sum it up! It’s time they wore their clown shoes and did some tricks for us.

    • @TitanLaGrange
      link
      11 year ago

      This is hilarious.

      I agree. I don’t need or want corporations and their leaders to (necessarily) be super-serious sophisticated caricatures of responsible people. I mean, it’s good if people will take seriously what an expert says when they are speaking within their expertise, but it’s probably good for people to see that they aren’t experts on stuff outside their expertise, so I’m all for some public dumbassery from them.

  • Nanachi
    link
    141 year ago

    I ate the news. Thought this was the onion…

  • @FringeTheory999
    link
    131 year ago

    They’re just jealous that the squashed billionaires are hogging all the headlines.

    • @scutiger
      link
      71 year ago

      It makes sense. He’s an actual, factual robot.

      • @Dark_Blade
        link
        31 year ago

        Also a lizard, so he has the limb advantage.

  • MushuChupacabra
    link
    121 year ago

    I dislike both men for the net harm that they’ve inflicted on humanity.

    But if this actually went down, Mark Zuckerberg would beat the brakes off of Elon Musk.

    • @Tarkcanis
      link
      21 year ago

      Maybe I’m going crazy but didn’t he win some regional ju-jitsu competition recently?

      • MushuChupacabra
        link
        3
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        I know that he trains, and saw a clip of one of his matches, and he looked reasonably good for a white or blue belt.

        Elon Musk is easily the most feeble of the high profile multi-billionaires. I think that even Branson would have better cardio.

        Zuckerberg would close the distance on Musk immediately, take him down, and strangle him with relative ease.

        The better match up would be Zuckerberg vs Bezos.

        • @TitanLaGrange
          link
          21 year ago

          Elon Musk is easily the most feeble of the high profile multi-billionaires.

          Heh, I wonder if he’ll schedule it for like 8 months out and then spend the entire time hiding from public view getting shredded and learning BJJ. It would be super fun to have him show up in the ring and drop his robe to reveal that he’s absolutely jacked.

          • MushuChupacabra
            link
            11 year ago

            It’s a dedication and focus thing, so Elon would not be able to sustain the will to train properly. He’d blow most of his time looking for cheat codes, then try to learn one move, and spam it during the match up.

            He’d do well to bow out of any chirping on the subject. If he actually tries to knuckle up, he’s going to get embarrassed.

            Weirdly, Mark would probably gain some serious street cred for putting Elon to sleep.

    • @nichos
      link
      -31 year ago

      Serious question (abd a likely unpopular opinion given the comments here) but do you really think Elon has “inflicted net harn on humanity?” And did you feel that way before he bought Twitter? In my opinion, he’s one of the most important persons of this century so far. Getting us to mars & making electric cars commonplace are huge for humanity.

      • @STUPIDVIPGUY
        link
        61 year ago

        Electric cars aren’t significant. It’s just a way for people to feel “green” while not changing their habits or adressing the actual issue of climate change. He has harmed society by hoarding money like a dragon just like every other rich fuck.

        • @Dark_Blade
          link
          11 year ago

          With respect to cars, we could do so much better just by keeping the ones we have for as long as we can, rather than buying new ones every time the warranty runs out. Buying a new electric vehicle when your car works fine as-is won’t help the planet.

          • @STUPIDVIPGUY
            link
            2
            edit-2
            1 year ago

            We could just keep driving gas guzzlers while strictly regulating those industries which poison our planet, and climate change would be no longer. Passenger vehicles were never the problem, and EVs are just another business.

            Electric trains and buses are much more sustainable

            • @Dark_Blade
              link
              1
              edit-2
              1 year ago

              Exactly. The cars are nowhere near as bad as all the industries slowly choking the life out of our planet, and the EV industry (ironically enough) is merely contributing to it. The only reason we’re forced to bear the climate burden is because inconveniencing the voter is far easier than telling lobbyists to fuck off with their billions.

      • MushuChupacabra
        link
        31 year ago

        Serious answer:

        With respect to net harm, yes, yes I do mean what I said.

        Yes, I did feel that way before he bought Twitter.

        One of the most important is not synonymous with one of the most beneficial.

        Hyping Mars is cool, but forcibly cutting corners at Space X led to a catastrophic shredding of their launch pad. I would not allow this man near the decision making level at Space X, and I mean that in precisely the same way that I wouldn’t want to buy a submarine from that see the Titanic company.

        In terms of mitigating the effects of climate change, every little bit counts, but electric cars is probably the least effective application of his wealth.

        While his PR image may seem appealing to you, it’s like you’ve got the Oscar Meyer Weiner song in your head; you might even sincerely enjoy the product. But that also strongly suggests that you haven’t walked around on the production floor to see how it’s made.

        With respect to the net harm to humanity claim, the aiding and abetting of intolerance and fascism has a direct cost in human lives.

        And to be clear, no matter how loyal you are to him, and no matter how much you choose to ignore in order to sustain it, you’re less than an NPC to him.

      • @what
        link
        1
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        I’ve argued musk is one of the best PR workers in the billionaire class since early days of space x.

        Mars is what he tells people yet he makes the majority of his money sending spy satellites into space. Look at what he has actually accomplished. One nothing, it’s all the actual engineers who work for him. Two a lot of DoD contracts and nothing on Mars, not even a satellite in orbit around Mars.

        Just look deeper into his history and you will find a spoiled child who often takes over already successful companies then they do well often in spite of him. Paypal he fought against,and it became the main product of the company that is now named Paypal.

        Tesla already had an working electric vehicle when he took over. Once they made there production ready car Musk fired the actual engineers who made it. Now Mercedes has the first certified level 3 self driving car and every other auto manufacturer has caught up in terms of electrification. They have little in terms of competitiveness in the short to medium term future.

        He’s just a good bullshitter and he didn’t do so good at bullshitting the Twitter takeover. Most people still don’t realize how big of a loser this son of an emerald mining company owner is.

        Zuck is also a psychopath don’t get me wrong but you only asked about Musk so I’ll spare you.