Making a memory requires intention and attention. Most people don’t remember the drive to work, going to the toilet, or showering, but their way of interpreting the world includes a little summary step, a sort of “Yep, done that” for each task. They remember that they showered, but they don’t remember showering. When they then try to recall showering they confabulate something reasonable, a sort of stand in for having a shower, but it isn’t recorded that morning, it is just a kind of simulation of what showering is usually like when they have a shower at home, in the morning, on a workday etc.

Because you have fewer executive function slots you are using all of them to do your tasks, so you don’t have spare slots to also make summaries. This is actually not a bad thing, I mean who really wants to have full video memory of every shower they have ever had, but it can look like memory issues if you have incorrect expectations. Most people don’t remember most of what they say they remember, they remember a summary which compresses it and makes it much easier to store but not a full recollection of the event itself.

Here’s a simple experiment you can try. Look up one of the contacts in your phone. It has to be one whose phone number you don’t know. Read their phone number, then try to recite it or write it down from memory without looking at it again.

If my meds are working like they should, I can do it. Otherwise I have to literally look at every single digit as I write it down because it’s like as soon as the number is out of sight, I might as well have never seen it. Same with reading books. I love to read but I struggled with it before getting on Vyvanse because I would get to the end of a paragraph and have absolutely no idea what I just read. I’d have to read the same paragraph 5-6 times before some of it actually stuck.

This is something that some people who don’t have ADHD struggle to understand. Everyone forgets things occasionally. That’s normal. What’s not normal is forgetting things so quickly and frequently that it severely degrades your quality of life. That’s a common symptom of ADHD and boy does it suck.

Short Term and Working Memory of a damn goldfish. Long Term memory is so freakishly good that people think I’m making it up.

I can struggle to tell you what I had for a meal 10 minutes after I finish eating but I can tell you the exact page and location on the page of phrases that I read in a book 20 years ago.

Why did I just go to the kitchen? Who the fuck knows. Ask me what I was doing last Thursday afternoon at 3:30 though and I can write you a detailed description of the entire days events.

Welcome to ADHD.

It might be one of the most frustrating aspects for me honestly. I feel like a shitty friend/partner because I literally forget almost everything. Somebody might tell me something and 2mins later I have no idea. Sometimes I “feel” the memory somewhere in my head but can’t grasp it. Sometimes I really feel the empty space where it should be.

Yeah. My short term memory can only hold one thing at a time, if I get distracted, it’s gone.

Oh most definitely. I can’t remember people’s names that I’ve known for decades sometimes. It’s mostly on-the-spot though. Like I’ll remember it again at some point, I just can’t do it at the particular moment I need to, if that makes sense.

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Poor executive function often manifests as poor short term and working memory so yes what you experienced is a common symptom of ADHD

Yes, I have ADD and I miss parts of my days, certain special occasions are blurryand sometimes I can’t remember what I’ve done the last hour.

It’s part of the ‘symptoms’.

You can’t forget what you never knew/noticed. My brain just ignores and misses a lot of things.