I remember often sleeping on my parents bed during my middle school years… I remember doing that since I was like 8…
Idk if this is why I have separation anxiety issues as a young adult…
It’s not that unusual. I have 30-40 year old cousins that might share a bed with their mom, in gatherings where we’re short on beds. It’s a little odd, but… shrug.
I wouldn’t worry unless you feel like you have to do it.
At gatherings it’s different, you sleep where you can sometimes.
In a household regularly? Kinda strange.
Maybe occasionally when they visit their Mom, sometimes? But it’s not like they live together, no.
That’s definitely not normal. Coming to the room because of a nightmare to talk and get some reassurance, sure. Sleeping there all night…that doesn’t sound like a great way to do things. As others mentioned some professional help might be your best route. It’s ok though, some help and counseling and you’ll be able to work through things
A lot of your posts are pretty concerning. Is there a mental health professional you can turn to instead of relying on Internet strangers?
Username checks out
My point is to ask for anecdotes…
Don’t take their comment as an attack. It actually doesn’t seem like a bad idea
My point still stands
Yes it’s pretty weird to sleep with your parents as a teenager. I’d call it a red flag.
Idk if this is why I have separation anxiety issues as a young adult…
Probably.
I 100% agree with the commenter who suggested a mental health professional. This is not an attack or insult, it is a serious suggestion of what seems like the right move.
Red flag as in what? Abuse?
You literally said you have a mental health issue (seperation anxiety) and asked if an unusual household habit might be a contributing cause.
Going to a therapist is definitely worth considering.
I don’t know. It doesn’t seem normal or healthy. A mental health professional would know more. It does sound correct to me what the other person said about teenagers being at a stage in development where they are supposed to be seeking more independence. But again I’m not a professional.
If you are asking about regularly sleeping in the parents bed it is weird In the US.
Maybe a 13 year old sleeping in the parents bed due to a thunderstorm or other “traumatic” events it is no big deal, but even that should be stopping.
I don’t ever remember sleeping in my parents bed….
That’s unusual. Teenagers are supposed to be gaining independence and experimenting with doing things on their own. That’s how they grow into strong adults.
There’s a biological shift that happens in a teenager’s brain that causes them to pay less attention to their parents. It’s nature helping them grow up. https://www.futura-sciences.com/en/why-13-year-olds-tune-out-their-parents-according-to-neuroscience_20858/
Yes.
It’s kind of like when someone asks when do you need to respect kids privacy when they are changing. The right answer is whenever the kid signals they want privacy or asks for it.
I have a ten year old who still occasionally ends up in our bed at night. But he does it to be near our dog who usually also sneaks into bed with us at some point in the night.
As long as nothing was forced you are fine OP.
I did ages 0 through 12, cuz i have nightmares and fear of the dark (horrible for a gothic wannabe) nowadays i just call my girl when im alone and i feel safe!
Until when it’s considered acceptable by society as whole depends on that area’s culture. In Japan, one might find even elementary kids sharing a bed with the parents (or at least mom as dad sometimes would sleep separately). I think even here anyone over 10 would be kinda weird here. The US takes an even more dim view on it (in part because cosleeping was thought to cause things like SIDS so it’s generally not started that much to begin with).
I only did that as a young kid after getting night terrors. Around 8 I stopped entirely? I may have a touch of childhood amnesia though.
My kid is about 8 now, and he’s welcome to join us near the mornings, but his hypermobility and the fact that our bed is quite hot already makes joining us in the middle of the night a total non-starter. Nowadays we just soothe and reassure, then tuck him back in.
I would only join my parents in bed if I had a nightmare in my own bed, which wasn’t very often. They would let me sleep between them in the middle of the bed, which made me feel safe and cozy.
When I was maybe 7-8 years old, they started encouraging me to not do that anymore. If I had a nightmare, my mother would calm me down, talk it out with me, and then send me back to my bedroom. I never shared a bed with my parents again.
It’s strange to me that OP started sharing a bed at 8 years old and continued into their teens. At that point, it would make sense to start enforcing independence.
But if I recall, OP mentioned in another thread that their mother regularly insisted on expressing how much she loved them, then demanded to know if OP loved her too. So it sounds like OP’s mother has some extreme anxiety and self-worth issues, which she reinforced by over-mothering her “child” long past the stage where they should’ve been growing up and learning independence.
It’s strange to me that OP started sharing a bed at 8 years old and continued into their teens. At that point, it would make sense to start enforcing independence.
Well I don’t exactly remember before that… memories are like fuzzy, maybe I also did it before.
8 years old was when my family immigrated to the US, btw.
So it sounds like OP’s mother has some extreme anxiety and self-worth issues, which she reinforced by over-mothering her “child” long past the stage where they should’ve been growing up and learning independence.
But I remember the oxytocin felt good tho ngl…
OP’s mother has some extreme anxiety and self-worth issues
Are we seriously diagnosing psychological issues of third parties now ?
I mean, see for yourself. OP specifically requested it in another post.
There sure are a lot of “weird” answers in this thread.
There’s nothing necessarily wrong about co-sleeping in your teens.
Some people might say your mum didn’t “toughen you up” by forcing you to sleep in your own bed or whatever.
That’s BS IMO. Much more likely that you are just wired differently and it manifests as anxiety.
Yes, extremely weird.
