It’s Motivation Monday, I guess!
Smoking and drinking. At some point I viewed smoking as “part of my personality”. And I loved a good beer (that’s on being Belgian). Thing is, I always had to drink way too much. I tried to quit smoking. But, every time I had a drink, I smoked again. And I was at a point where I drank - and got drunk - almost daily. So not much quitting there. Came home one night, drank way too much again, threw up in the living room and all over the toilet. Woke up and felt terribly sick, obviously. Threw up throughout the day and finally decided it wasn’t worth it anymore. Been 10 months now and feeling way better, mentally and physically. Quitting drinking hasn’t been that hard, to be honest. Same with smoking now. You just don’t do the thing anymore, basically. That’s it. I always told other people as well: “How hard is it to just not do something? I love doing nothing, it’s the easiest thing ever.” Nowadays, especially in Belgium, there’s a lot of very good NA beers as an alternative, so that’s a big plus as well.
PPD
Who the fuck downvotes this.
I’ve angered someone it seems, they’ve been downvoting all my comments.
It sounds very tough!
It prevented me from bonding with my child, it sucked. Also prevented me from breastfeeding. Luckily, I knew what it was the second time around and got treatment for it. It’s really dangerous because it can become psychosis. I’m glad there’s more awareness of it now, women can get help so things don’t end badly.
My divorce.
He had asked me to quit my job to focus on supporting him in his career after he graduated college. Months where my life was cleaning up after him, making him breakfast, etc…
It really turned into a cult thing. My entire world was him, and then he tossed me out. Financially ruined, no support from family.
But I’m finally on the way up I think.
I thought I was dying in my 30s.
I have IBS and it just skyrocketed in its effects on me over a period of a few years. Doctors had no clue.
I lost my job, went bankrupt, and had a lost decade.
Turned out I had a hernia that turned my IBS into regular intestine blockages. Public benefits paid for the surgery, and here I am almost twenty years later. (Worth noting that I met a woman who never thought she would find love or get married, and she demanded I get the surgery.)
I am back to being unemployed and need some simple remote work, so if anyone has ideas, much appreciated.
You are at least the second person to mention IBS/other stomach issues and interestingly I made this post because I’m suffering the worst stomach pain of my life, which i think must have been bought on by lifting with bad form. So I guess this is a sign I really need to see the doctor about this? I will.
And best of luck with seeking employment. Hiring cafe is good for finding remote work
IBS for me is dietary and stress/anxiety related. Certainly worth discussing with your doctor but if it is a new issue, I would not assume IBS.
I’d say cancer, but I knew I’d get through that because there weren’t any other options. So probably dealing with things I’ve forgotten about or have been putting off. Those always seem like bigger things than cancer when I, in the middle of them. But now I’ve been cured for twenty years and I’ve also answered like, 5 of the 627 emails I’ve needed to answer for the past few years so things are looking up!
Honestly, life itself.
At 15, I thought I’d be dead by 18.
At 18, I thought I’d be dead by 20.
At 21, I thought I’d be dead by 24.
At 24, I thought I’d be dead by 28.
At 28, I transitioned and think I’ll be dead by 95? Maybe? Either way, the grayscale world has had its color turned way up and life’s worth living now. I’m 41.
Turns out, having a deep-seated sense of wrongness can lead to life itself being challenging.
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At one point, I was undergoing a divorce that threatened to ruin me financially and estrange me from my kids. The stress triggered an underlying previously unknown-to-me autoimmune disease (Crohn’s) that left me in wracking pain and unable to control my bowels. At the same time, my job was threatened and I had to pull 10+ hour debugging sessions. And because of contentious divorce allegations, I was getting drug tested and couldn’t even chew an edible.
It was during those months that I learned:
- I cannot self-terminate. If I could, I would have.
- Graduate-level science and math courses on YouTube that you are not actually getting graded on are the greatest salvation. No stress, only info that is real, challenging, and deeply meaningful.
- Chocolate milk can save your life
I cannot self-terminate. If I could, I would have.
I have learned this too. It’s like the darkest sentence ever, lol. (Assuming you replace the middle period with a ; semicolon or dash)
But I’m proud of you and super impressed. Interested in the math and science courses if you have them to-hand
Honestly it was when I was very ready to kill myself - got a manual with different suicide techniques and found one acceptable to me and was going to a hardware store to buy everything - that I finally checked myself into rehab. Sometimes you do need to hit rock bottom.
Start with Lenny Susskind, who saved my life with The Theoretical Minimum
I almost did once. I planned to overdose on Tylenol. But I threw a ‘Hail Mary’ and reported that I was suicidal.
It was enough to get me admitted and I was given, finally, an accurate diagnosis of my mental health. It took a while before the right meds and dosage were prescribed.
A part of me told me that I hadn’t yet tried everything, LOL. I’m lucky. Clinical depression is no joke. I’m glad that you can’t self-delete, bruv. Life sucks. I’m sorry about your divorce, as well.
Alcoholism. I don’t think I’ll ever be completely done with it but I don’t feel like I’m dying anymore and I don’t feel like dying anymore.
Torts. First time I took an exam and walked out thinking I’d failed. B+. That’s typical for law school. If you walk out thinking you aced an exam, they made the exam too easy, so you’ll probably get a B with a 95%.
I had two absolutely horrible breakups. Both felt like they were never ending and that the pain would be forever. It did indeed take me a while to get over heartbreak but there eventually was light at the end of the tunnel
