Man, one time I ended up volunteering at a weekend youth event, and this other leader they put me in a room with was friends with my wife on Facebook, from college or something, but I’d never met him. Weirdest conversation of my life:
“So, how was your honeymoon in city?” “Oh, really nice. What was your name again?”
I imagine that’s what this horror house would feel like. Was a nice guy, honestly. I’ve since forgotten his name again.
This is just my life. I’m bad with names and barely recognize faces. I can do voices, but then I’m bad with names, so…
Oh god this is my nightmare.
I was like this for years and then I found the cure.
“I’m sorry, I have a terrible memory for names and I have forgotten yours.”
I have said this dozens and dozens of times in the last decade or so and have yet to have anyone be angry about it.
In fact in a fairly large proportion of cases, they then tell you that they have also forgotten your name as well. They are so relieved that you broke the “must remember name taboo” for them that they are grateful to you.
I do that sometimes, and I definitely agree with everything you said.
But… ok so what happens is I’m talking to somebody and they remember all this personal stuff about me and they seem really cool and I’m like I don’t know you so I ask their name and they tell me but then SOMETIMES what happens is it doesn’t ring a bell AT ALL and I end up not saying anything in response and staring at them like an idiot because now I know their name but still have no memories of this person prior to the last five minutes they’ve been talking to me and then it’s awkward and they get disappointed and I just. Wyxbpshxjwdj
Then it doesn’t ring a bell.
People remember different things because different things are important to different people.
If the issue I have with remembering names, (I have tried multiple tricks to try and change that with no success) is going to upset someone who did remember details of a previous conversation, then the relationship is not going to have much success.
If I am colour-blind and a person gets upset about it, there is nothing I can do and the problem is with them, not me.
Yeah, fair point. The awkwardness definitely isn’t as big of a deal as it feels like in the moment.
It’s still nightmare fuel imo, lol, but everybody’s different. I agree that it’s no reason to feel guilty or upset with someone, for sure.
I had a college fitness class teacher who told us all on the first day, “I am really bad with names. You’ll need to remind me your name many times this semester. It’s not because I don’t care about you, I’m just very introverted and it’s something I struggle with.” It made me feel better about having the same problem and I’ve been using that line since.
Everyday… This is me.
I had a job where I heard at least 50+ different names a day. It got to a point where I’d ask the person their name and immediately forget it. 4yrs later and I have not regained the ability to retain names. It’s so bad I automatically tell people I meet that I will not remember their name unless I hear or read it at least 5 times.
My work in a bank destroyed my short-term memory
My work in a bank destroyed my short-term memory
Patiently waiting for you to post this again.
“Hi I’m Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Will you remember it now?”
Omg. That sounds like this coffee shop I used to frequent for like 6 years.
There were like 12 regulars who’s names I had absolutely no idea…
When clubbing I met a guy who told me we went to the same class in HS and apparently we were friends, but I swear I’ve never met the man in my life. It was a place where a lot of people from my HS hang out, so it’s plausible at least.Not sure if he was trolling, but he seemed genuinely upset. One of the most awkward interactions I’ve ever had.
Are you a woman?
we went to the same class in HS
Does that mean:
We were in the same year. If yes, how many people were in the year?
or we were in the same class for a subject?
This is just going to work
Thanks I know what I’m going to dream about tonight!
Jokes on you. No one’s in my room!
And Fox News is constantly playing in the background in every room.
It’s sad that we raise people who are afraid of being honest.
When it appears it would certainly hurt the other person’s feelings?
Even though that is a noble reason on the first look, I still find it sad and not desirable in most cases. If someone is worried for these reasons to tell the truth, it can make a huge difference on the wording. How you are being honest to someone can significantly impact their reception and thus their feelings in this regard.
An example: “I didn’t remember your name, because I don’t care enough about you.” Versus: “I’m very sorry, it seems I have forgotten your name. What was it again?”
Besides, not remembering names of everyone is something a lot of people can relate to. If you are honest in a friendly manner an invite others to understand you, you may find that most people don’t have bigger issues with accepting it. And even if they are not perfectly happy about it, they are usually able to take it.
In cases like remembering names, I think people tend to be dishonest more often because they feel they will be judged for it rather than for them trying to be considerate.
Also, depending on the person, being honest is the most considerate thing you can do for someone. From my experience, there are not many people who prefer liars. (<- This sounds harder, than I mean it.)
Your belief that this will certainly hurt the other person’s feelings, is just that, your belief.
You have decided how someone else will react.
This is my day to day. Not just names of people but every damn thing. Names of schools. Names of streets. Things I did recently. Recalling anything involving recent events. My kids ages. All things I’d need to have regular old small talk with other adults.
Every conversation now is about what school is doing with the latest city thing and what streets so and so was from and where things are near on such and such street.
I probably got some brain worm or something.
