also add " no offense " at the end of offensive statements to make them non offensive
I always append no offence to benign statements to mess with people.
No offence.
I like what you’ve done with your hair, no offence.
No offense, but this is a pretty funny idea. I’m no expert tho
That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever read.
No offense.
I do not respect you and would not care or even notice if you disappeared tomorrow and no one ever found you because you had been kidnapped and murdered in the worst way imaginable.
No offense.
Hey. Fuck you.
No offense.
😢
why the fuck are you offended? They CLEARLY said “no offense” idiot
No offense.
Hey. I love you.
No offense.
😭 😭 😭
And prefix racism with “I’m not racist but…”
I’m not racist but no offense
No hate, but fuck you
but idk tho
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If you are dating someone and you really feel like this relationship has potential then you should think back to the worst thing you’ve ever did. Do it again and see how they react. If they can’t handle you at your worst then they don’t deserve you at your best.
But Idk tho.
Instructions unclear, now I’m wanted for murder (again, ugh). But idk tho
If you ever find yourself under arrest for murder the best possible thing you can do is just come clean about it quickly as possible. The sooner the better. Don’t even wait for a lawyer. They’ll admire your honesty and be lenient.
But idk though
If they can’t handle me at my diddliest, then they don’t deserve me at my doodliest.
i can’t do it again, there’s only one tower left :(
Im sure we can rebuild it for you.
The next time you’re applying for a job, post a fake job ad so that people give you their resumes. Then, you can edit one and apply for the job you want.
But idk tho
I did do something like that once. I made up a position that was kinda close to what I was looking for and see how other people were applying and structuring their resumes.
Yes it worked, no I would not do it again.
the professional version of this is ‘theoretically’. you can tack it on to the end of almost anything and it immediately makes whatever you said non-committal.
Theoretically, you could also tack it on at the beginning.
Or you could also, theoretically, tack it on in the middle of a sentence.
innovative!
Hypothetically
Allegedly
Well only if “theoretically” is followed by a statement compatible with supported theory. Too many people confuse theory with hypothesis
You can easily get away with using “Theoretically” in every situation, hypothetically speaking.
Where might hyporetically fall into this? Hyporetically speaking, for the real theothetists that might press the matter.
Let’s do a thought experiment on this hypothetical.
Theoretically, I had underetood the opposite.
Didn’t they just arrest some 4chan Nazi for doing that?
Don’t quote me on that.
“Not financial advice.”
IANAL but …
You anal but what?
But idk tho
Whenever I announce “I ANAL” I commit to it and include the space.
He anal butt
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If you are Canadian, also state that you are sorry at the end of every statement … sorry.
Good advice, but I don’t know.
its good advice, theoretically.
Theoretically yes but idk tho
“just my 2 cents but you are ultimately responsible for your decisions”
“dont worry bro, you should just do what i said, i think, probably maybe”
DON’T DO THIS:
- Soften chocolate ice cream and chill the glass. Take the ice cream out of the freezer for 10 to 15 minutes before use. At the same time, place your glass in the freezer. This will keep the shake cold when you serve it
-Measure the ingredients. 1 cup ice cream to 1/4 cup milk is a great ratio.
-
Blend the shake. In a blender, combine the milk and ice cream and blend until smooth. Add any your mix-ins and blend them in to your desired consistency.
-
Measure out the special secret ingredient - the 32.7 days, fermented cum sauce. Remember to consume 250 grams of pineapples prior to producing 100ml of that precious, pearly goodness.
-
Remember this: No matter how yummy the cum sauce looks, DO NOT DIP YOUR DISGUSTING HANDS TO LICK IT. You never know where your hands have been touching.
-Serve. Pour the shake into the chilled glass and serve immediately.
- Remember to enjoy this with your family! Cheers! :)
But idk tho…
