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I would know if he was one of us. Maybe from a different alien species?
because I have no friends.
Honestly an alien would do a better job at faking being a human. Plus, I’m weirder than them, and I’m not sure what kinda fucked up mothership would send me on a mission like this if I was an alien.
Why would it matter if they were?
He’s refused to probe my anus 😢
Because I haven’t met one of those yet. They sound cool, though.
Wouldn’t they send someone smart?