I board as per usual without a hiccup on my flight from Denver to LA and I sit in my usual aisle seat. Waves of people walk past me for several minutes until the line trickles out and I realize that the doors are closed and I HAVE THE WHOLE ROW TO MYSELF!!

I am absolutely hyped this has never happened to me. I can fucking lay down in economy! Then I look across the aisle and my aisle buddy has a full row too! We high five everything is fucking fantastic.

Then the rub, I hear a guy two rows back ask for a new seat… I very literally prayed to a god I don’t believe in to spare me this night, and let me tell you god is real. I feel so bad for my aisle buddy though because the Kevin ended up sitting with him.

Let me tell you, reader, that is not all.

I set up my backpack as a pillow and chilled for a while before the drink cart came down. I figure I’m celebrating a big win so I decide to ask for a jack and coke for the first time on a flight. My flight attendant, this sweet sweet man, hands me TWO MINI JACK DANIELS AND A WHOLE CAN OF COKE FOR FREE!!! Do you hear what I am telling you??

I am fucking FLYING tonight bois. Not only do I get a whole row to my self despite all the odds, I also get two free drinks, AND IM CUTE!!! Fuck I feel good.

  • @MisterMcBolt
    link
    4410 months ago

    All that AND you get to be cute?! Some guys have all the luck.

  • athos77
    link
    fedilink
    2610 months ago

    My mom and I were once on a 20-hour flight from Singapore to New York. We were in economy, and there was a whole row of five seats free. Got to put up all the armrests and sleep all stretched out, while the other person got a set of three seats off to the side to lounge in.

    We had friends in first class, and I peeped through the curtain to invite them to sleep, but they turned us down. But first class was absolutely packed and the seats didn’t fully recline, so we were much more comfortable in our cheap seats.

    • @stevehobbes
      link
      3
      edit-2
      10 months ago

      They lied to you. Business class certainly fully reclines into a bed if you were flying Singapore Airlines, which is the only airline that flies non stop. There’s no first class on the non stop.

      They also have a flight through Frankfurt, first class and business class on that plane (A380) definitely turn into a bed. In fact, in Suites class (first), the middle two seats combine to create a queen size bed.

      • athos77
        link
        fedilink
        310 months ago

        This was in the late 90’s/early 2000’s, and I’m pretty sure it was United. (Definitely not Singapore Airlines.)

        • @stevehobbes
          link
          210 months ago

          Ahh. Then may very well not have been lie flat. Still would’ve been pretty comfy IME. And the food and beverage option are better.

  • @dingus
    link
    2210 months ago

    Lol glad you’re having a good time, man!

    The last time I flew, I got excited because it put me at a window seat. When I boarded the plane, I found out that my row just had a wall without any windows lol. You win some, you lose some. May the airplane gods smile upon you!

  • @Countess425
    link
    15
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    Traveling around the holidays is great. The best flight I ever took was in early December. Everybody and their grandma just flew home from Thanksgiving; everybody was saving up and working to pay for Christmas. The Philly airport was deserted. Getting from the ticket counter to my gate was like 4 minutes. I had time to eat so many crab fries.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      710 months ago

      But those fuckers slow down after a couple of drinks, and after another few that arrive very slowly, they straight up stop. But of course don’t tell you that, but no matter how many times you wave one of them, they are just “Yeah, my colleague is on that, thanks for the patience” but the drink never arrives. Next time I’ll buy a bottle in the duty free. Fuckers.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          7
          edit-2
          10 months ago

          If I buy a bottle of whiskey and a 2 liter coke beforehand in the duty free and mix them up in the toilet in the airport so it looks like I drink coke, I sure can!

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          210 months ago

          Pre 9/11 they let you bring water through security but not alcohol bc they wanted to sell you their own. Guess what a water bottle full of gin and tonic looks like.

      • Ben Hur Horse Race
        link
        fedilink
        210 months ago

        haha… I’ve never experienced that… I have switched to buying the tiny bottles in duty free myself, ordering one then topping that fucker up myself for the entire flight

  • @kite
    link
    1310 months ago

    I had this once, it was awesome! And then my next flight was the worst one I’ve ever had. So prepare yourself just in case life is currently snickering behind its hand at you because it plans to fuck your shit up next go-around :(

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    1210 months ago

    I had this happen on a 17 or so hour flight from Canada to Australia. I wasn’t even paying attention and only realised I still had the entire middle row free as the plane started taxiing. It was glorious.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    1210 months ago

    Last time I flew economy between europe and asia it was only me and this other guy sitting in the entire economy section. And we were on the same row. “You’re not gonna be offended if I move, do you?”

  • LCP
    link
    810 months ago

    Yeeeeeee

    The last time I flew I got a free upgrade to the exit row seat. They needed someone to occupy the seat in case of an emergency. Raised my hand immediately as soon as they asked for volunteers.

  • @Cossty
    link
    710 months ago

    This post is missing mention or photo of the steam deck.

  • Dandroid
    link
    fedilink
    7
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    Okay, the free jack and coke got me excited for you.

  • @tty5
    link
    510 months ago

    I was on a flight to Europe just as COVID was beginning - early 2020 - and flight crew outnumbered passengers, which was nice. I got stuck in EU for over half a year past my planned return date because of cancelled flights, which was less nice…

  • TWeaK
    link
    fedilink
    510 months ago

    One time I flew transatlantic with my two young kids and their mum, I swear the flight attendants were trying to see how drunk they could reasonably get me.

    If they’re being generous, be gracious - but don’t forget to ask for more. It doesn’t come out of their pockets and you’ve already paid a bomb (on land I can say that word).