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I honestly and sincerely have a lot of sympathy for religious leaders. Flip a coin. That was about the odds of me becoming one instead an angry atheist. I have said for years There but for the grace of Satan go I. Haha
But yeah seriously, I was a devout kid. I had serious plans to make this my vocation. And had I done that I can’t imagine how bad my life would have gotten. If you can donate to the clergy project. Let’s rescue a few souls.
I was in exactly the same boat as you until I was about confirmation age. Around mid way through college, I was pretty much over it. Late bloomer.
Don’t feel bad, feel “blessed”. We both got here eventually.