Hello everyone! I’m about to become a parent in a few months and I was wondering what books would you recommend reading to get myself prepared. Is there a new parents bible or something like It? The baby won’t come with instructions. Thanks!
I recommend the book Precious Little Sleep. You will think about how to get your baby to sleep a lot during the first year and especially during those first 3 months. People often recommend The Happy Sleeper, but personally I think that book is for when things have already gotten out of control, not when you’re just trying to formulate a plan.
I would recommend having a peek at the CDC’s milestones app and also the ASQ-3 which is a checklist for milestones going up to 5 years old.
Yale has a fantastic online parenting course that’s based by science. It’s really an in depth explanation of the ABC Model of parenting, which has been shown to have the best outcomes and is really the authoritative style of parenting, which should not be confused with the authoritarian style of parenting which does not have great outcomes. Neither does the permissive style of parenting.
The “Your ___-Year Old” Books (here is Your One-Year Old) are fantastic for learning what children at like at various ages as far as temperament and general interests. I would disregard a lot of the parenting advice in this book because it’s very much of that “Girls like dolls. Boys like trucks. Neither should speak unless you give permission” variety.
Thank you so much for providing so many links!
I really don’t think there’s a Bible because it’s so personal. One of the big challenges I had parenting was accepting that I couldn’t maximise every value. The parenting skill tree is brutal 😅
That said, while I personally have issues with a lot of her conclusions the underlying philosophy of Cribsheet is good. Personally I absolutely loved Hunt Gather Parent and it has really helped me, but I suspect mainly because it ties with my existing values
I really enjoyed French Kids Eat Everything. It’s more a philosophy for parenting, rather than a how to book.
I liked Heading Home With Your Newborn because it was just so concise.
I didn’t really read specific books to be honest but pursued any topic extensively eg baby led weaning, bed sharing etc
I found this on GitHub: https://github.com/davidpelayo/awesome-parenting
Your baby comes with very loud instructions. You only have to guess which need you have to fulfill. 😉
I can’t recommend any book but can give you some answers, if you have questions. We raised three kids and did quite good. Books are too stiff in giving advice and having your first baby is a very fluid experience.
I get your point, and there are certainly tons of books that falsely claim to have a magic method. But if anything, a sweeping generalization about books seems too stiff.
We had read a wide variety of books when we got our daughter and most tips and advice fell in two categories: “this is dumb, I’d never try this” and “yeah, no shit Sherlock”. I don’t say, there are no good books out there, I just say, there are much more … not so good ones. And picking up bad advice from a bad book more likely than the other way round.
I strongly recommend the Wonder Weeks. You don’t really need to read every word. Just understand that your baby will go through big developmental leaps, and that those leaps will first make them fussy/scared -but later make them a genuine joy to be around. If you go into it expecting that kind of pattern (and able to recognize when you’re in a fussy phase), you’ll do great because you won’t over-correct to a 4-day fussy phase. It also just lends some sanity when everything that used to work suddenly doesn’t anymore 🤪
Like you, OP, I’m going to be a parent in a few months. So far I’ve enjoyed “The Expectant Father” and “The New Father”. Both of those take a month by month approach and focus on the emotions the father, mother and baby are going through, their relationships to each other, and some practical advice like what to pack in your hospital bag.
I also really enjoyed "Bringing Up Bebe", which follows an American expat learning about French parenting. The advice is mostly sound, but more importantly, it exposes you to a completely different philosophy on parenting (unless of course, you happen to be French, OP). This lets you to reexamine your own assumptions about parenting that you may have learned from your family or tv, and you can decide for yourself what kind of parent you want to be.
Hope this helps!
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