• @Gigan
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    1441 year ago

    What the fuck FDA

    • @ragormack
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      361 year ago

      Haven’t they killed an alarming amount if animals trying to get this thing to work?

      • @PM_Your_Nudes_Please
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        351 year ago

        Yes. Many of the chimps in the animal trials died horribly excruciating deaths, and Neuralink tried to bury the studies.

        • @LemmysMum
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          81 year ago

          At least now the test subjects dying will be already braindead Elon supporters, nothing lost.

      • @Viking_Hippie
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        151 year ago

        Yup, they sure have.

        Obvious content warning: grisly monkey brain chip death. What a bizarre sentence to actually make sense…

    • NightDice
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      121 year ago

      Money makes getting regulatory bodies to approve stuff scarily easy

  • Roflmasterbigpimp
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    1081 year ago

    What. I still rember the article about the Monkeys Musk butchered with his Microchips! This was terrifying and disgusting and now he is allowed to do this to humans?! WTF.

    • @Viking_Hippie
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      671 year ago

      Regulatory capture at work. If you’re the second-richest man in the world and a darling of the far right to boot, they’ll let you do pretty much whatever you want.

        • @LemmysMum
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          1 year ago

          Gerhard Schrader had his detractors, too.

            • @LemmysMum
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              01 year ago

              The inventor of Sarin Gas. Supported by the Nazi regime and incumbent Government, probably had a few people that didn’t think his goals were a good idea.

              • Roflmasterbigpimp
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                11 year ago

                I needed to check twice to which Comment you are replying. Because what you say has nothing at all to do with anything I said.

                Is your only connection to this that I’m German?

                • @LemmysMum
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                  11 year ago

                  You’re German?what does that have to do with the U S government propping up people willing to test horrific things on people.

                  Being German I’d think you’d appreciate the noted similarities more than most.

    • @hakunawazo
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      471 year ago

      And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything.
      Grab them by the brain. You can do anything.

  • don
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    991 year ago

    All I’m seeing is ads streamed directly to the brain with no way but one to stop it, assuming that instinct doesn’t get neurologically suppressed.

    • @pelerinli
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      561 year ago

      Why put an ad while they can directly manipulate your hormones/enzymes?

      • don
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        341 year ago

        You’re just gonna give them ideas like that?!

        Ah fuck. You didn’t tell them anything they didn’t already consider. Fuck, I’m slow.

              • @DefyTheLegends
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                61 year ago

                As a large language model I am not capable of verifying my humanity. I was designed to answer questions and to once again remind you that you need to drink a verfication can.

                You may access further messages by subscribing to PayTheLegends for only 39.99$ per month.

            • @LemmysMum
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              21 year ago

              Now they have the neural chemical detectors to make sure you did!

    • Flying Squid
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      301 year ago

      “Neuralink Premium halves the number of ads in your dreams for only $8 a month!”

    • @nepenthes
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      1 year ago

      Futurama Season 1: Episode 6. Fry gets ads in dreams.

      Futurama Splash Screen with: Any Resemblance to Actual Future is Purely Coincidental.

      Futurama Splash Screen with: “Any Resemblance to Actual Future is Purely Coincidental” written as gag.

    • @[email protected]
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      81 year ago

      You don’t have to worry about that, It’s an Elon Musk owned product, he already solved that with TwiXer. He just has to make sure that Nazi’s can send their propoganda to your brain, and then advertisers will stay very far away from the neuro link.

    • @Hackerman_uwu
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      21 year ago

      Yea if you don’t subscribe to Neuaralink premium then you have to endure Kanyes voice in your head chanting: “Elon Macht Frei” ten times a day.

      • don
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        11 year ago

        Elon considers this to be a benefit of your subscription.

    • @[email protected]
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      -81 year ago

      Neuralink aims to help people with paralysis communicate by allowing them to remotely control devices using brain activity. In the future, Neuralink may help enhance user memory and cognitive abilities, restore a user’s motor, sensory and visual functions as well as treat neurological disorders.

      It’s for paralyzed people and neuralink isn’t the only company researching the technology. I swear, where the fuck do you people get your information from, and how do you just never bother to google it to see for yourselves?

      • @[email protected]
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        41 year ago

        No, Neuralink is for stupid Elmo fanboys to waste money and health on and allow Elmo to continue executing his fascist anti-human agenda. And yes, other companies actually try to make devices that will help people. It’s not about the technology, it’s about that motherfucking shit-golem and the way he treats people (hint: like expandable cheap renewable resources). But if you like that fuck so much, I hope you’ll be one of the people leaving Earth and following him to Mars. I actually can’t wait that day to happen. We used to joke how great it would be to put all fascist into a space rocker and launch them into space, and it will soon not only become reality, but the stupid fucks will go willingly. Perfect!

        • @[email protected]
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          -21 year ago

          Me “it’s meant to help paralyzed people move and walk and live again, something previously deemed impossible”

          You: goes off on some wild Elon musk fueled rage and says nothing about the point of the product

          You might need to seek help if you get this worked up over something that heals people…

      • @Viking_Hippie
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        351 year ago

        “Your subscription to arm control has expired. Please wiggle your eyebrows in a lewdly suggestive manner to pay subscription fee plus $69 lateness surcharge and a $420 because we can addendum”

      • @Viking_Hippie
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        171 year ago

        True, which is one of the many reasons why intelligent people will generally try to avoid having The Monkey Killer installed in their brains.

          • @Viking_Hippie
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            21 year ago

            Yeah, no… I’m generally in support of making all software FOSS, but I draw the line at making my brain functions open source 😄

            • @[email protected]
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              21 year ago

              On the contrary it being open source is the only way I’d ever put a chip in my brain.

              Hell no I don’t want proprietary code running with access to my brain that I don’t have complete control and knowledge of

              Just look at how much sneaky crap is in smartphones already

      • @[email protected]
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        11 year ago

        Yes, but only the lucky ones win death in a raffle (1 in a 1000). The rest are shipped to mines. And their memories are not wiped clean, because the suffering is the integral part of such economy.

  • @gedaliyah
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    561 year ago

    It’s no longer a conspiracy theory. It’s a conspiracy fact.

  • Flying Squid
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    511 year ago

    Interesting, isn’t it, that Elon hasn’t even suggested he would be getting a Neuralink chip in his brain…

  • @[email protected]
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    411 year ago

    The difference is that it’s consensual, you libtard.

    Now try not to think about those monkeys we’re testing the product on and whether it was consensual for them.

    /s if it wasn’t obvious

    • sharpiemarker
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      191 year ago

      Just because you have someone’s consent, doesn’t make whatever you do to them legal.

      For example, you can sign a contract to allow me to bludgeon you to death, but it’s still murder regardless of your consent.

      Frankly, Elon has killed enough animals in this endeavor that it’s unconscionable to allow him to test it on people. It’s only going to end poorly.

      • @[email protected]
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        1 year ago

        you can sign a contract to allow me to bludgeon you to death, but it’s still murder regardless of your consent

        I agree this is the current law. But I certainly don’t agree with this law. Do you?

        I feel people should absolutely be allowed to consent to death, or potential death. And I mean, we already can in various other contexts like skiing in avalanche terrain, ordering too many big macs, or medically assisted suicide to prevent suffering from incurable conditions (at least in a few civilized places).

        • @[email protected]
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          71 year ago

          Yeah we have that in Canada, you can choose to end it with doctor help via the MAID program. Lets people die with dignity.

        • sharpiemarker
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          1 year ago

          You’re talking to someone whose wife died 4 months ago (at 34 years old), from one of those incurable conditions. I’ll let you guess how I feel about allowing people to end their life on their terms.

          • @[email protected]
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            11 year ago

            I’m confident you strongly support allowing it as I have never met someone who witnessed a loved one suffer like that and does not support lessening their suffering.

            So since you support allowing people to end their own lives in that context, you understand that people can indeed consent to death. So perhaps consenting to death should be permitted in other contexts too. That’s the only point I was making.

        • Johanno
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          111 months ago

          I understand your point. I think people should be able to consent to that, but how do you assure they don’t do this because they get forced to agree?

          • @[email protected]
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            211 months ago

            The same way we assure people consenting to anything at all are not being forced to. We try our best basically. And sometimes we’ll probably get it wrong and need to improve. I’m completely ok with that when the alternative is guaranteed preventable suffering. Just like I’m ok with people using power of attorney to protect the finances of people with dementia, even if sometimes it gets misapplied.

      • Draconic NEO
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        211 months ago

        The first one might suck but can be solved by either working under the table or with underhanded tactics, not super easy but doable.

        For the second one, it’s much easier, [email protected] can help you.

  • @linearchaos
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    371 year ago

    When the conspiracy theory said Gates was doing it, it was the end of days.

    Now that musk is doing it, it’ll be sliced bread 2.0.

      • @linearchaos
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        11 year ago

        I will one up you. I’d like to see something that shows body temperature, 02 saturation, and heart rate. Needs to be about the size of a grain of race and implanted in us right after birth. DING, your child has a fever. DING, your child is suffocating in their sleep.

      • @[email protected]
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        211 months ago

        I want you to think long and hard between the differences between not getting protection against a deadly, highly transmissible disease and not getting an iPhone implanted in your skull.

        I’ll give you a hint. Only one of them actually endangers lives.

          • @[email protected]
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            11 months ago

            Do you understand how disease spreads?

            Do you know that if you decide you’re too cool for a jab that has been tested on literal billions of people and proven safe and effective in over 99.9% of cases, and end up getting COVID, not only could you be stuck with “long COVID” complications for life but you could also spread the disease to someone immunocompromised who isn’t eligible for the shot and will almost certainly die from it?

              • @[email protected]
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                11 months ago

                I could dig up several reputable sources to corroborate everything I just said, but first I’d like to ask if you have even one that calls it into question.

                Give me one reason for not getting the shot besides opposing everything the government does because you want to feel like a special boy.

  • @paddirn
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    1 year ago

    Ahh, you can trust the guy who single-hand-idly drove twitter into the ground and pushed a shit sheet metal meme car. He doesn’t know anything about anything, but you can trust him with brain surgery.

    Really though, anyone that thinks this is a good idea and signs up for testing probably deserves the lobotomy they’re going to end up with.

    • @[email protected]
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      151 year ago

      I mean, he knows loads about manipulating people and being rich. Does he bring value to society?

      No.

      • @[email protected]
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        -21 year ago

        There is at least one fanboi in this thread that totally deserves it. Getting the implant should be required in order to allowed buy a Cybertruck. Dead drivers of apocalyptical death-cars are way less dangerous than the alive ones.

  • @[email protected]
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    351 year ago

    Man, I don’t know what right wingers y’all are talking about.

    I come from a super right wing family and all them MFs think this is a bad idea too (though to be fair, they’re def on the conspiracy theory “everything is to get a microchip in my blood/brain” side of things).

    • @SkyezOpen
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      471 year ago

      Well someone is gargling elons cock, and it’s not lefties. So you figure out the math and that’s who they’re talking about.

        • @SkyezOpen
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          531 year ago

          Is a centrist anyone who says “I’m not into politics but (right wing propaganda)” because that’s unironically been my experience so far.

          • @[email protected]
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            51 year ago

            I’m not into politics, but I think everyone should deserve human rights regardless of race, gender or sexuality.

            And I’m a centrist. Fuck you guys who only pick and choose specific examples to paint us as right wingers.

            • @SkyezOpen
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              31 year ago

              If that’s the only issue you vote on, then you’ve never voted for a republican, but I don’t think that’s the case.

          • Alex
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            1 year ago

            Depends. I’m centrist but a bit left-leaning and I fucking hate Musk.

            • @Daft_ish
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              1 year ago

              O am not personally affiliated with any party but will be voting Democrat, as it seems, for the rest of my time here.

          • @Viking_Hippie
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            11 year ago

            That and anyone who explains to the left that they too would like a better nominee, but we can figure that out after this crucial election cycle…during every election cycle for their entire life, which are the only times they discuss politics.

            • @LemmysMum
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              -21 year ago

              When half the population wants to eat shit instead of chocolate just because it looks kina like shit, what do you expect?

              • @Viking_Hippie
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                01 year ago

                I’m pretty sure that whomever you’re getting your culinary statistics from is ripping you off…

                • @LemmysMum
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                  -21 year ago

                  Keep sucking trumps colon, I’m sure the chocolate is just round the intestinal bend.

              • @voidMainVoidOP
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                01 year ago

                Half of the people did not vote for Trump. Not even close.

                • @LemmysMum
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                  11 year ago

                  Non voters vote for ‘I’ll have what she’s having’, so yeah, they did.

            • @Viking_Hippie
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              151 year ago

              Nobody said anything about FAR right. In fact, you’re the one who’s characterizing people as extremists for disagreeing with you, a typical centrist move.

            • Flying Squid
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              121 year ago

              Compared to any other western country, American centrists are far right. Republicans are off the map.

      • @[email protected]
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        21 year ago

        I suppose my instinctive reaction isn’t to assume someone’s politics would determine how they react to Musk.

        My first real assumption would be that tech/engineering types are the only ones who’d really think about him at all (in both directions). Like, I do have an uncle who occasionally brings him up whenever theirs news on SpaceX’s rockets (though usually this gets brought up in the context of “new technology sucks” and “what was wrong with the rockets that carried up Voyager” and such).

        So yeah, I really don’t think I’d describe anyone as “gargling Elon’s cock” except those who still have good will for Tesla.

    • @[email protected]
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      331 year ago

      I come from a super-right wing family too (but from Europe) and they really are in love Elon because it’s like “a dog being out of control” in the billionaire group, the one who is brave enough to go against the rules, defying the “cancel culture” and the unidirectional thinking imposed by political correctness.

      • @jose1324
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        201 year ago

        I just vomited a bit in my mouth

        • @[email protected]
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          171 year ago

          Obviously I don’t approve of any of it, let it be clear… Lemmy for me is a sort of “therapy group” where I find relief from that toxic environment.

          • @[email protected]
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            31 year ago

            Yeah, I hate how toxic just politics in general get. Like, it feels like any time anything political gets brought up, everyone leaves their good will and sense of humanity at the door, ya know?

            I do enjoy how much tech-focused content is on Lemmy, but it also feels like there’s a higher concentration of toxic leftist type posts.

            That’s definitely a thing I miss about the good ol’ reddit days: being able to scroll for days without seeing anything political. Or rather - being able to filter out all the political subs and not feeling like you were missing out on the larger conversation on the platform.

            • @[email protected]
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              11 year ago

              Unfortunately, everything is political, and this has always been true, and will never not be, as long as humans exist. If you were able to ignore politics, it just means you were unaware of them, likely because they weren’t hurting you or anyone you cared about. The uptick in “toxic” posts in the last decade is because more people are in danger now, and are highly aware of it, and more people are actively dangerous, and are stirring the pot. It didn’t get more political, it got more dangerous.

      • @[email protected]
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        31 year ago

        That’s interesting to hear. I wouldn’t have expected Europeans would have thought about ol’ Elon that much.

        • @[email protected]
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          41 year ago

          In general I would argue that he has a good reputation, due to good marketing mostly. A great lot of people see him as some sort of “illuminated visionary” who fosters innovation for the Good™ and will save humanity with SpaceX, Tesla, etc. [I don’t agree personally to any of it but that’s another story].

          • @[email protected]
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            41 year ago

            Ugh, yeah, I don’t hate the guy, but I also think that anyone who still thinks he’s a visionary hasn’t actually been paying attention to his work/how his companies are going lately.

    • @[email protected]
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      41 year ago

      Honestly I haven’t heard any of my right wing coworkers etc… talk about this particular company, but I have heard a lot of elon worship from them. IE I hear a lot of them talk about how he’s gone so pro free speach with twitter. (and they tend to ignore me when I point out that he’s censoring every bit as much as the old twitter, he’s just nicer to the nazis and less nice to the left.

      • @[email protected]
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        41 year ago

        Ugh, yeah, that is a point of frustration I have with the family.

        For them, it’s not so much “look what Musk is doing” so much as “look at how much better Twitter’s gotten”, which is particularly ripe cause none of them even use the platform. As I think on it, that probably means the big Fox talking heads are saying things like that.

        I never got into Twitter myself (just never really understood / took to the format), which is kind of a shame cause I’d really like to be supporting Mastodon in this years surgance of the Fediverse.

      • @[email protected]
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        1 year ago

        But do they hate the guy? As much as Bill Gates?

        It’s like when Trump shat on veterans and the rightwingers didn’t care.

        • @[email protected]
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          21 year ago

          no. i suppose you are correct. from what i see they may think he is incompetent, but not evil like bill microsoft gates

  • @Slagathor
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    321 year ago

    There’s no way the FDA approved that shit.

    • @noroute
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      deleted by creator

      • @satans_crackpipe
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        231 year ago

        You’re being awfully combative. If this behavior continues, the court will mandate installation of a calming chip in your brain.

        • @[email protected]
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          111 year ago

          Alongside a medical bill to put the thing in. This isn’t charity, it’s America. You’ll be responsible for paying for the surgery and the rental fee of the courts chip. You don’t own that chip we forced you to put in your brain, you’re just renting it for the rest of your life.

        • Draconic NEO
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          111 months ago

          Anyone seeing this might want to consider combat training and counter custody training while it’s easy, just in case this is the future we’re headed for. (Also Remember they’re not real people, they’re bureaucrats they’re the same as robots, don’t hold back.)

      • @[email protected]
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        71 year ago

        Just wait. It becomes the latest and greatest in communications, then corporate America starts requiring it for employment.

      • @[email protected]
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        -41 year ago

        Remember that if you ever somehow become paralyzed. When they tell you they’ve luckily only recently developed a cure, make sure you tell them no thanks when you find out how it was created.

    • @[email protected]
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      21 year ago

      Yeah it’s a meme that people are emotionally reacting to.

      Honestly you need to cross reference 2-3 sources before forming an opinion on any “news” these days

      • @Gumus
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        11 year ago

        Always check Twitter, Fox News, and ask ChatGPT. Am I doing this right?

  • The Menemen!
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    271 year ago

    Finally cyberpunk begins. We need more neon lights, but thanks to LEDs I am looking positively towards our future.

    • @meliaesc
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      211 year ago

      No need to hack when the fatality rate in primates is already so high.

  • @ilinamorato
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    211 year ago

    I remember reading an article just a few weeks ago about a company that made a combination prosthetic/implant for blind people to be able to see in the…early 2000s, I think? It was an early technology, low-rez, but somewhat miraculous for some.

    And then the company went out of business.

    As the implants began to wear out, or the software developed bugs, or the patients’ needs changed, things fell apart. They lost their vision and nobody could help them because the hardware and software were proprietary.

    Now Elon Musk—with his reputation for quality control and following through with ideas and open source—wants to put things in our brains. Backed by the full faith and credit of Elon Musk.

    One day he’s going to push down an update that makes everybody with a Neuralink stop and say “hehe butts” in a funny voice, and the tech bros will say “lol great meme Elon” even though a dozen of them got hit by a car because they were forced to stop while they walked across the street, and thirty of them lost their jobs because they said “hehe butts” to their managers, and one of them was a soldier who said “hehe butts” in an active warzone and blew the whole squad’s cover.

    I can’t believe anyone is honestly entertaining this.