All the miracles he was planning to give to dying children have been squandered on helping football teams win sorry.
He is Jesus on a budget after all
It’s just a bunch of emails about making dicks bigger.
“Hot moms in your area want to praise you”.
Dear Jesus, just 2 more inches pls
Jesus: “The important ones will email me again.”
The important ones: “please help I’m being eaten by a bear”
Jesus: “Yeah, sorry 'bout that. The bear prayed for food. it’s family is starving. Your sacrifice is appreciated.”
The no-longer important ones: “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
Jesus: “Oh. now you’re going to hell.”
Forward all to Satan
??? … shit … shit … shit … I meant Santa … Not Satan???
ah fuck … it’s already sent … Oh well … wait another 2,000 years I guess
so waiting perpetually addressed but talk to me about … certainly helping these purely good uhh monkeys that keep praying at me
Needs a live, laugh, love ornament on the wall
How many more went to spam?
Not mine, I know he cares about me
What buzzword for marking payers as important Jesus have set up?
“prayers to Trump” “pray away the gay”
What else?
Look. It’s pretty gorramn simple logic. God is all powerful. “All” like “infinite” time and across dimensions you didn’t even know existed yet.
All that fucking power and I guarenfuckingtee is sick of your “prayer.” It mean shut the fuck up. You don’t need to say fucking shit. In fact give all your strength the other direction and listen. Because God’s ridiculous fucking power means your thought was heard before you had it. Infinate fucking power. Dimensions you don’t know exist. GOD IS TELLING YOU TO STFU AND LISTEN. I can fucking prove that because it’s fundamental to the very logic itself. You don’t need the book to work that shit out your damn self right now.
I mean who gives a shit if it’s real or not. It doesn’t matter. LOGIC ITSELF tells you the church is fucking lying to every fucking one.
Basic fucking logic and even God doesn’t give a flying fucking shit if you believe fucking anything at all. Basic fuckig Logic. Church is Lying. Proof.
Doesn’t matter if your Atheist. God don’t give a flying fuck. Basic Logic.
What happens if there is no one around to tell us all about god? Do we all just goto hell because we didn’t worship him? What if we didn’t know god existed?
God can and tries to tell you. It’s just a matter of shutting the fuck up and listening.
Worship is completely unnecessary unless you can bend over hard enough to suck your own dick.
I AM God. So are you. And anyone and everyone else. Remember? God is ALL POWERFUL. Everyone and everything including across dimensions you didn’t know existed or what the fuck that even means.
I have a friend and He’ll be Heavin’ here in a sec. He’s so sick of bullshit like religion. You gotta understand.
Edit: Excuse me I must apologize. I shouldn’t be insulting cows like that.
