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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 22nd, 2025

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  • null@piefed.autoAsk LemmyHave a Child or Buy a Horse?
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    1 year ago

    We have twins, they’re nearly 2.

    IDK about the career angle. Would taking a year or 2 off in your thirties meaningfully effect your trajectory? You and your partner could alternate, you take a few years off, then he does. Or you could both go part time. Are there other ways you can stay connected to your industry? Additional study?

    Statistically caring for a child may not be a good career move, but I suspect a large part of that is that having a child changes your priorities. Your career might take second place, not because it has to, but because you’re far more interested in hanging out with your kid.

    Paying someone for help is a nice idea but it didn’t really work for us. We had 2x au pairs for a while, paid minders to help out on weekends et cetera. Here day care is heavily subsidised. They started that when they were about 15 months, 3 days a week. That has been a game changer obviously.

    We’ve never done date night per se. We do family outings several times a week. We both make sure the other gets a few hours off every few days. I’m not saying this is “the right way”, some cracks in our relationship have definitely appeared and developed over the last several years. We just wake up every day and do whatever needs to be done.

    I’m just not interested in Horses so I just can’t comment on that. I’m really into bikes though. I bought an epic e-bike powerful enough to haul my kids around in this trailer thing. They love it. I love it. It was financially reckless, cost about 9 weeks average wage, but I don’t regret the purchase. I will say though, you should talk to someone who has a horse and pays for all the things. For me the novelty would def wear off super quick.

    The thing that I find striking about your post is the analysis. We didn’t analyse the decision to have kids. It was just something we wanted to do. We didn’t have answers for all the questions, or even bother to ask those questions, because literally every one of my ancestors has just gotten pregnant and figured the rest out day by day.







  • null@piefed.autoNo Stupid Questions*Permanently Deleted*
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    1 year ago

    Having a few drinks and getting stoned and then having sex used to make me sweat like a pig.

    Just having sex without being drunk or stoned makes me sweat a normal amount.

    Also, anti-depressants have 2 problematic side-effects: they can make you sweat more and make it more difficult to climax.








  • I remember I was maybe 8 years old and lucky enough to go out on my dad and uncle’s fishing boat. They were commercial fishermen, netting sardines.

    I was so excited when dolphins showed up, only to discover that not everyone loves dolphins when my uncle got the shotgun out. He didn’t actually murder any dolphins that day but not for lack of trying.

    Suffice to say, I think most fishermen have a healthy dislike for other predators.


  • I don’t think it’s necessarily so pointless.

    I do agree that it’s ethically dubious and in a perfect world you’d have enough police to monitor areas where this is likely to happen, but that’s not really the reality.

    I don’t really agree that no crime would’ve been committed if the police hadn’t left a scooter there. Perhaps that’s true, but it’s more likely to me that delinquents are looking for opportunities all day.

    I also don’t agree that we should avoid charging kids with this type of crime. If the court is producing bad outcomes then that is what should be addressed.

    On balance, I think it’s the last, worst option. However, if police don’t have the resources to manage this problem then it would allow you to grab a few kids who are hanging out at the same shop every day stealing everyone’s stuff.



  • I was about to correct you on that but I looked it up and you’re more correct than me.

    I thought groceries were more like packaged goods and not necessarily edible.

    Like here in Australia if I went to a super market and bought steak and veggies I wouldn’t say “I’m just out buying some groceries”.

    Another example, “I buy my veggies from the veggie shop, steak from the butcher, and then other groceries from the super market”.

    I guess it is a somewhat old term. becoming less popular I suppose.