• @ummthatguy
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    23 days ago

    There’s a faux Christian saying: “If you shake it more that three times, that’s masturbation.”

    • Programmer Belch
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      1223 days ago

      What if I can bust without touching it? Does God just congratulate me for the skill?

      • @wreckedcarzz
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        523 days ago

        Had that happen once (I’m a very needy guy, mmmk?). But I’m satanic so I’ll let you know when I pick up my penthouse suite from the man himself. Probably throw you a party and bring a dozen guys in to blow you proper until you faint, I guess. No basic-bitch ‘congratulations’ here. We go all out.

        • flicker
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          322 days ago

          Something about this comment and the way it was written has given me the vague feeling of a deep and interesting story in which you’re playing a part. There’s an air of mystery to it but a promise of a good time. 10/10 comment.