Whenever I hear people say stuff like that, I always get flashbacks from my dad showing us how to kill these birds with bare hands. Whenever we wounded one and caught it alive, we had two ‘ways’ of completing the kill … and both methods are ugly. Which is why he always insisted we become better shots and kill something the first time round, rather than wounding them.

Not to say that I don’t fear these things either … I’ve been in city parks that had geese and have on more than one occasion, been chased away in fear for my life by a hissing cobra chicken.