I’m new to the bidet scene, and this one has me slightly confounded. Should I install a new towel rack next to the toilet? Should my wife and I share the towel? Do you wipe first? There are so many unanswered questions in the ways of bidet-ing!

  • @Macaroni_ninja
    link
    206 months ago

    I invested in one of those super fancy “smart” toilets with built-in bidet and hot air drying.

    I used to work for the manufacturer and got a big discount on it before I left. It has a lots of overkill functions but damn I love that thing: Night light, dedicated remote, smell absorbing filter, mobile app, automatic flushing, sensor operated seat.

    Its the fanciest thing I own.

    • kreekybonez
      link
      116 months ago

      what’s on the app? profiles for different butts? live feedback from a down-under camera? AI stool analysis?

      • @Macaroni_ninja
        link
        5
        edit-2
        6 months ago

        The settings for different users + all the functions the remote has.

        Nozzle position, water temperature, etc.

        • Some settings like when to open the seat/lid, when to

        I never use the app it as its just a gimmick and the remote has dedicated buttons for everything, but in theory if I go to a place which has the same brand toilet it will set my butt profile automatically if I have the app on my phone with me.

      • Subverb
        link
        56 months ago

        I have a bidet with the functions he mentions other than auto flush as it installs on a standard American toilet. You scoff, but profiles probably are a thing.

        Mine has a remote that probably does what his app does. It controls:

        • Start/Stop
        • Water temperature
        • Seat temperature
        • Water pressure
        • Angle of nozzle
        • Oscillator
        • Turbo mode
        • Air dryer
        • Deodorizer
        • Children’s mode
        • Women’s hygiene mode
        • Default run duration timer setting
        • Power save mode
        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          3
          edit-2
          6 months ago

          But what I really want is for it to say “Arigato Daddy-sama (⁠ʘ⁠ᴗ⁠ʘ⁠✿⁠)” after I shit in it

        • kreekybonez
          link
          16 months ago

          I promise there’s no scoffing here! I love my analog bidet, and am always on the lookout for an upgrade, if the price is right. Especially if it can be fitted to a standard american toilet.

          Happily taking recommendations, if you have any. The features you listed sound refreshing, relaxing, and somewhat intimidating. Which, to be clear, I’m into.