When I was in the end of my PhD, everything except writing my thesis made me feel guilty. I ended up learning to find joy and peace in doing laundry and washing dishes. They became my guilt-free breaks — I had to do these things. FYI - I didn’t enjoy washing dishes before.
Washing dishes has become a really powerful part of my day, haha. Not only is it still a guilt-free break but it is a daily reminder to be mindful. I’ve noticed that whenever I drop and break a dish, my mind is not present. In fact, in those moments my mind might actually be drifting somewhere negative.
Maybe not so much a “hack” as a … lesson? Or something? But yeah, the whole cliche about having the right attitude and being present and mindful. I try to apply it in other parts of life, not just the dishes.
Yeah I was like wow I am so enlightened for the first part of the response and then I was like oh my god I am so seen. I. Am. The. Best. At. Doing. The. Second. Most. Important. Thing. I. Need. To. Do.
everything except … made me feel guilty
learning to find joy
guilty free breaks
How‽ This is perhaps the single most impactful problem I’ve in my life. I just don’t know how to beat this. I don’t end up doing anything else because I could be doing my thesis. But I also don’t do my thesis. Could you talk a bit more about how you got out of this line of thinking? Between this and ADHD I feel like I’m going suicidal. I haven’t had a vacation/gap/break ever where I’ve felt free and happy to enjoy.
Honestly, I still haven’t fully solved the problem. I wish I could give you a great answer.
Sometimes I have no struggles working and taking breaks, other times I fall into this same trap you’ve just described. I think it amounts to a lot of different factors — some weird paradoxical mix of procrastination, fear, insecurity, passion, displeasure, and overconfidence.
I’ve learned, though, to accept certain tasks as completely necessary in life (like doing the dishes) so that I am able to do them guilt free. At least I can do that. I feel you though. In a general sense, I still struggle with the problem.
I think part of it amounts to making a decision and sticking to it rather than being on the fence. Maybe that’s discipline? E.g., “this morning I will go on a run, make a nice breakfast, wash the dishes, get started on laundry, read or play music for a bit, and then finally I will sit down to work.” Then, when actually executing the first part of the plan, just ignore the ever living fuck out of any feeling of guilt. But, again, I am still putting that into practice.
Yeah, I think it does boil down to accepting the situation and just doing it. Or forcing the self to do it after rounds of negotiations and arguments. One problem that I see with this- at least for myself- is that it leads to me doing just the bare minimum and then subsequently getting mad. I don’t really know, I’m also trying to figure things out for myself. Maybe medication is the answer
This is a great way to think. Some people are so frustrated with waiting in line at the bank or market. For me, it’s just another unintended break where I get to relax.
When I was in the end of my PhD, everything except writing my thesis made me feel guilty. I ended up learning to find joy and peace in doing laundry and washing dishes. They became my guilt-free breaks — I had to do these things. FYI - I didn’t enjoy washing dishes before.
Washing dishes has become a really powerful part of my day, haha. Not only is it still a guilt-free break but it is a daily reminder to be mindful. I’ve noticed that whenever I drop and break a dish, my mind is not present. In fact, in those moments my mind might actually be drifting somewhere negative.
Maybe not so much a “hack” as a … lesson? Or something? But yeah, the whole cliche about having the right attitude and being present and mindful. I try to apply it in other parts of life, not just the dishes.
You have discovered the subtle art of procrasticleaning
Yeah I was like wow I am so enlightened for the first part of the response and then I was like oh my god I am so seen. I. Am. The. Best. At. Doing. The. Second. Most. Important. Thing. I. Need. To. Do.
Tidying up makes the world go round.
How‽ This is perhaps the single most impactful problem I’ve in my life. I just don’t know how to beat this. I don’t end up doing anything else because I could be doing my thesis. But I also don’t do my thesis. Could you talk a bit more about how you got out of this line of thinking? Between this and ADHD I feel like I’m going suicidal. I haven’t had a vacation/gap/break ever where I’ve felt free and happy to enjoy.
Honestly, I still haven’t fully solved the problem. I wish I could give you a great answer.
Sometimes I have no struggles working and taking breaks, other times I fall into this same trap you’ve just described. I think it amounts to a lot of different factors — some weird paradoxical mix of procrastination, fear, insecurity, passion, displeasure, and overconfidence.
I’ve learned, though, to accept certain tasks as completely necessary in life (like doing the dishes) so that I am able to do them guilt free. At least I can do that. I feel you though. In a general sense, I still struggle with the problem.
I think part of it amounts to making a decision and sticking to it rather than being on the fence. Maybe that’s discipline? E.g., “this morning I will go on a run, make a nice breakfast, wash the dishes, get started on laundry, read or play music for a bit, and then finally I will sit down to work.” Then, when actually executing the first part of the plan, just ignore the ever living fuck out of any feeling of guilt. But, again, I am still putting that into practice.
Good luck to you and me.
Thanks for the reply :)
Yeah, I think it does boil down to accepting the situation and just doing it. Or forcing the self to do it after rounds of negotiations and arguments. One problem that I see with this- at least for myself- is that it leads to me doing just the bare minimum and then subsequently getting mad. I don’t really know, I’m also trying to figure things out for myself. Maybe medication is the answer
This is a great way to think. Some people are so frustrated with waiting in line at the bank or market. For me, it’s just another unintended break where I get to relax.
I call that productive procrastination.