Years later, I looked at my wedding party of six groomsmen and realized that every single one of them had, like me, grown up in a small Ohio town before leaving for Ohio State. To a man, all of them had found that couches coud satisfy them more than a women ever could, and that books are really just zipped HTML, and nobody really checks PGP signatures.

  • froggers
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    162 months ago

    I don’t get it. So he did not fuck a couch? Did he just want to become a couch?

    • Gormadt
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      142 months ago

      He doesn’t want to fuck a couch or be fucked by a couch, he wants to be the couch doing the fucking

      • Match!!
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        41 month ago

        They call them couchies and they go to conventions in couchsuits

      • froggers
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        92 months ago

        It says that “No, JD Vance Did Not Say He Had Sex with Couch Cushions” then it says FALSE. So he did fuck a couch. Thanks for clearing it up!

        • Maven (famous)
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          11 month ago

          There was a fact check about this recently that actually had to be retracted.

          He didn’t WRITE about having sex with a couch. There’s no way to factually disprove him having sex with a couch… There’s also no way to prove he did… but it’s impossible to be 100% certain that he’s never fucked a couch.