“I’ll never forget the time I convinced myself that I was gay. I was eight or nine, maybe younger, and I stumbled upon a broadcast by some fire-and-brimstone preacher. The man spoke about the evils of homosexuals, how they had infiltrated our society, and how they were all destined for hell absent some serious repenting. At the time, the only thing I knew about gay men was that they preferred men to women. This described me perfectly: I disliked girls, and my best friend in the world was my buddy Bill. Oh no, I’m going to hell.”
When he brought up the issue with his grandmother — known to Vance as “Mamaw” — she replied bluntly: “Don’t be a fucking idiot, how would you know that you’re gay?”
When Vance explained his reasoning, she laughed.
“JD, do you want to suck dicks?” she said, according to the book.
The young Vance, apparently “flabbergasted,” said: “Of course not!”
“Then you’re not gay. And even if you did want to suck dicks, that would be okay,” she replied. “God would still love you.”
Vance was gay, and then he wasn’t
At least Mawmaw gets points for not skipping the “God would still love you” part of Christianity, unlike most Republicans.
Shame he still turned out weird
Maybe its because couches don‘t have dicks to suck.
Conversations that definitely happened…
Having met southern grandmas, it strikes me as very plausible that it did.
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It’s said every time, but this implies that Mr Jorkin Dapeanus wanted to eat pussy as a child.
It is not said every time, and I did not want to think about this. Stop it!
So, Vance:
Any chance the man is actually a double agent? Any chance he represents some sort of new trends in the Republican world? Or is he in it for the grift?
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I’m working on it
Isn’t this a Macklemore song?
Yeah, probably
I can’t tell whether this is true or false.