• @[email protected]
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      593 months ago

      I’ve never heard this guy talk so hearing his voice…

      I mean, I’m not saying that I’ve ever talked to a couch fucker but…yeah, the voice sort of says couch fucker.

      • @macarthur_park
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        223 months ago

        There’s a reason that rumor spread so effectively

        • magnetosphere
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          183 months ago

          The author of the tweet never even tried to claim it was true, either. When the couch thing blew up, they even specifically said that it was just a joke. You’re exactly right, though. There’s just something about Vance that makes it seem believable.

          • @Serinus
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            173 months ago

            Well, if you’ve read any of his Hillbilly Elegy, it fits. He does this weird oscillation where he talks about his humble roots, and then is incredibly condescending towards anyone in a similar situation.

            Apparently he’s better than that now.

            He could talk about how he was so desperate he fucked his couch. But then, once he had money, he was able to attract an actual woman. He still occasionally fucks a couch, just for nostalgia, but all those other people who are still fucking couches are sad and gross.

            It would blend right in.

      • @[email protected]
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        163 months ago

        Lets call it what it is. He fucks underage couches. That makes him a rapist. He’s a couch rapist.

        • peopleproblems
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          63 months ago

          Age of consent or not, I’ve never heard a couch talk, let alone consent.

          It doesn’t matter the type of material or the designer brand the couch is either, the couch isn’t “dressed like it’s asking for it.” Unless it’s enthusiastic affirmation, it’s rape.

        • @MrVilliam
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          53 months ago

          I’ve never asked so I can’t say for sure that it’s not impossible, but I’ve personally never heard a couch speak. Therefore, I’m not sure any couch is capable of consent. Ergo, all couch fucking is couch rape.

      • @[email protected]
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        23 months ago

        I dunno about couches but my gaydar went nuclear at that clip.

        But of course, he can’t be gay, because he didn’t want to suck dicks at the age of 8.

    • @[email protected]
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      13 months ago

      Why did she not ask him if he organized any support for the innocent BLM protestors that did not commit any crimes? Why just the Jan 6 insurrectionists?