If you are attracted to someone, and what made you attracted to them was a lie, then there’s no reason for that attraction to exist, only the person who matters in this scenario is the person who was attracted.
Attraction happens for any reason, and you invalidating someone’s attraction because it doesn’t align with your own, is dehumanizing and wrong. Your opinion doesn’t dictate who, what, when, where, how people find others attractive.
Then on top of that, lying about it to achieve intimate contact, is sexual assault.
Let’s make a pretend scenario that maybe you can understand:
If I gave you a briefcase and told you it was worth 10,000,000; you’d be excited. You’d open it up and find a HUGE lump of coal. You’d be massively disappointed. But if I were YOU in this very moment, what I’d be arguing would be that you couldn’t be disappointed, and just because the coal isn’t a diamond it’s technically made out of the same thing and doesn’t mean it isn’t worth that much, and you need to realign your value of money to mine. See how stupid that sounds? It wouldn’t be wrong of you to be disappointed in the change of events, and I’d be a complete asshole for pulling a stunt like that.
if im attracted to someone, and I can see their genitals, it’s probably not a situation where anyone cares if anyone else is trans.
like, if I see someone cute at a bar, I don’t think “thats a dick I would like to touch” or “thats a pussy I would like to touch”. I think 'huh, they’re cute/cool/kinda hot and tragic/as approachable as I am desperate. I can not, in fact, see this person’s genitals. im not attracted to them. in fact, even when people do have the genitals I guess they have, they never look quite how I imagined. bodies are weird and vary like crazy. this one girl I went home with, her boobs looked great! but when she took her bra off, one of them was this, like, completely saggy bag that hung down to her waist (and we were like twenty so this was not normal) and the other was gone-breast cancer, entirely fake. clearly, I should have murdered her, or would have at least been justified in doing so, right? I did expect something (and something I thought I could directly see!) and it was different, so it was okay to muder her, right? she should have told me before she took her top off, and been super vulnerable in public, just in case I was a murderous creep, right? or is it only with genitals? what if someone’s wearing shapewear, to appear less fat? or makeup? should they have to disclose that? bare their vulnerabilities and imperfections?
your example is kind of absurd; the value of diamonds is entirely fabricated by the industry, money is fake as shit, and im glad to hear that cis people are diamonds but trans people are coal. that’s cool and good and something someone who isn’t a bigot would say, reminds me not at all of the christian ‘used chewing gum’ slut shaming.
maybe if you’re so fucking invested, you should fucking ask. or would you come off as some sort of weird transphobic creep and offend most potential partners, cis or trans, if you did that?
If you are attracted to someone, and what made you attracted to them was a lie, then there’s no reason for that attraction to exist, only the person who matters in this scenario is the person who was attracted.
Attraction happens for any reason, and you invalidating someone’s attraction because it doesn’t align with your own, is dehumanizing and wrong. Your opinion doesn’t dictate who, what, when, where, how people find others attractive.
Then on top of that, lying about it to achieve intimate contact, is sexual assault.
Let’s make a pretend scenario that maybe you can understand: If I gave you a briefcase and told you it was worth 10,000,000; you’d be excited. You’d open it up and find a HUGE lump of coal. You’d be massively disappointed. But if I were YOU in this very moment, what I’d be arguing would be that you couldn’t be disappointed, and just because the coal isn’t a diamond it’s technically made out of the same thing and doesn’t mean it isn’t worth that much, and you need to realign your value of money to mine. See how stupid that sounds? It wouldn’t be wrong of you to be disappointed in the change of events, and I’d be a complete asshole for pulling a stunt like that.
if im attracted to someone, and I can see their genitals, it’s probably not a situation where anyone cares if anyone else is trans.
like, if I see someone cute at a bar, I don’t think “thats a dick I would like to touch” or “thats a pussy I would like to touch”. I think 'huh, they’re cute/cool/kinda hot and tragic/as approachable as I am desperate. I can not, in fact, see this person’s genitals. im not attracted to them. in fact, even when people do have the genitals I guess they have, they never look quite how I imagined. bodies are weird and vary like crazy. this one girl I went home with, her boobs looked great! but when she took her bra off, one of them was this, like, completely saggy bag that hung down to her waist (and we were like twenty so this was not normal) and the other was gone-breast cancer, entirely fake. clearly, I should have murdered her, or would have at least been justified in doing so, right? I did expect something (and something I thought I could directly see!) and it was different, so it was okay to muder her, right? she should have told me before she took her top off, and been super vulnerable in public, just in case I was a murderous creep, right? or is it only with genitals? what if someone’s wearing shapewear, to appear less fat? or makeup? should they have to disclose that? bare their vulnerabilities and imperfections?
your example is kind of absurd; the value of diamonds is entirely fabricated by the industry, money is fake as shit, and im glad to hear that cis people are diamonds but trans people are coal. that’s cool and good and something someone who isn’t a bigot would say, reminds me not at all of the christian ‘used chewing gum’ slut shaming.
maybe if you’re so fucking invested, you should fucking ask. or would you come off as some sort of weird transphobic creep and offend most potential partners, cis or trans, if you did that?