I spent all of my highschool years being stared at but being autistic I thought it was them ‘oogling the freak’.
After I got old and fat I met up with an old HS friend and they asked "Why didn’t you ever date anyone, tons of girls were into you’.
And I was like ‘They were?! WHO?!’
and then they list off a bunch of girls I always thought hated me. And not in the funny ‘kindergarten girl throwing rocks at you’ way but in the legit ‘Mean Girls’ kind of way.
Then he said “Well, were they smiling when they were staring at you?”
I think and say “I guess, but I always interpreted it as the same crooked ‘enjoying the chaos’ smile people get when they see a train wreck.”
And he was like “No dude, Jen was super into you and really angry that you avoided her for three years.”
For allistics: Most autistic people HATE eye contact and almost always, without therapy, interpreted as a threat.
For autistics: Staring at the bridge of their nose makes them THINK you are looking them directly in the eyes without giving you the jibblies.
Also for autistics: if you find yourself doing anything that requires speaking to a group, as long as you are more than 5 to 6 feet (160-170 cm) away from the people, you can look just over their heads, and behind them, and they will think you’re looking directly at them. It’s a common stage acting/singing technique.
It’s true, a lot of times what autists assume about others is based on a mismatch of your own gut instincts and the gut instincts of others. I think it’s best to not assume anything, and be a calm and reasonable person.
I spent all of my highschool years being stared at but being autistic I thought it was them ‘oogling the freak’.
After I got old and fat I met up with an old HS friend and they asked "Why didn’t you ever date anyone, tons of girls were into you’.
And I was like ‘They were?! WHO?!’
and then they list off a bunch of girls I always thought hated me. And not in the funny ‘kindergarten girl throwing rocks at you’ way but in the legit ‘Mean Girls’ kind of way.
Then he said “Well, were they smiling when they were staring at you?”
I think and say “I guess, but I always interpreted it as the same crooked ‘enjoying the chaos’ smile people get when they see a train wreck.”
And he was like “No dude, Jen was super into you and really angry that you avoided her for three years.”
For allistics: Most autistic people HATE eye contact and almost always, without therapy, interpreted as a threat.
For autistics: Staring at the bridge of their nose makes them THINK you are looking them directly in the eyes without giving you the jibblies.
Also for autistics: if you find yourself doing anything that requires speaking to a group, as long as you are more than 5 to 6 feet (160-170 cm) away from the people, you can look just over their heads, and behind them, and they will think you’re looking directly at them. It’s a common stage acting/singing technique.
For normal conversation distances I find looking at the bridge of their nose to be a good way to fake eye contact.
It’s true, a lot of times what autists assume about others is based on a mismatch of your own gut instincts and the gut instincts of others. I think it’s best to not assume anything, and be a calm and reasonable person.
Never heard allistics before, but yeah, that does make sense.