• ValorieAF [she/her]
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    324 months ago

    Yeah idk. I cut off my parents because they continued to support trump and refused to use my preferred name after I came out to them. They gave me some bullshit about how “respect goes both ways” and that I have to “honor” them by allowing them to use my original name, but obviously that doesn’t fly when 1) the name they gave me is exclusively masculine and 2) the name is literally the religion they follow which I hate. All while telling me they want me to go back to church / seek god as if that will somehow help with my gender dysphoria, despite knowing the truth that all they’ll try to do is convert me back to being cis. I was hoping they’d come around, but I’m also not at all surprised they didn’t because they’ve been stuck in their stupid backwards thinking for so long.

    • partial_accumen
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      314 months ago

      They gave me some bullshit about how “respect goes both ways”

      “For us to respect how you want to life your life. You have to respect how we want you to live your life.”

      This is what they’re actually saying, and yes its bullshit. If those are the rules they live by, then you should also be able to tell them how they live their lives, which I’m sure they’d balk at immediately.

        • partial_accumen
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          64 months ago

          Its worse: Respecting parent’s authority prevents recognition of the adult offspring’s humanity.

    • @UnderpantsWeevil
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      124 months ago

      Going to take a wild guess at that name. But ffs, they could at least aim for a compromise at “Christine” or something. Assholes.

      I was hoping they’d come around, but I’m also not at all surprised they didn’t because they’ve been stuck in their stupid backwards thinking for so long.

      It’s a hard psychological transition and far easier to retreat into conservative social norms. I hope they come around with time, if for no other reason than as you become more feminine its going to be weirder and weirder to keep introducing you as a boy. But yeah, fascist religious leaders can be twice as toxic as any cable news talking head, if for no other reason than they will look you in the eye and shake your hand as they put poison in your ear.

      My brother-in-law is completely off the deep end thanks to his Catholic pastor going full MAGA. No idea what to do with him except tune him out and keep an open line exclusively with my nieces, who are still very cute and chill despite him.

      • ValorieAF [she/her]
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        94 months ago

        Going to take a wild guess at that name. But ffs, they could at least aim for a compromise at “Christine” or something. Assholes.

        Right, but I wanted a completely fresh name as I didn’t want any ties to that religion at all (Christine still has “christ” in it)

        I hope they come around with time, if for no other reason than as you become more feminine its going to be weirder and weirder to keep introducing you as a boy.

        Well, unfortunately for them they won’t be seeing me anymore since I cut them off. They named all of their children (4 others) with some reference to the religion and I guess they’re super offended that I don’t want to use that name at all.

        My brother-in-law is completely off the deep end thanks to his Catholic pastor going full MAGA. No idea what to do with him except tune him out and keep an open line exclusively with my nieces, who are still very cute and chill despite him.

        That’s really a shame. I know there are some accepting religious people but they seem to be very few and far between.

    • @[email protected]
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      104 months ago

      Using someone’s preferred name is just basic respect. It blows my mind the level of power-tripping that some parents get into.

      • ValorieAF [she/her]
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        44 months ago

        Thanks, I appreciate it. Thankfully I have an extremely supportive and loving wife, and ironically her family is somehow accepting of me despite also being trump supporters… Sigh.

        I’m still working on growing my chosen family, but I have a very kind neighbor who is accepting of me as well who is becoming somewhat of a father figure for me, so I guess that kinda works.