Bids opened Monday for a contract to supply the state Department of Education with 55,000 Bibles. According to the bid documents, vendors must meet certain specifications: Bibles must be the King James Version; must contain the Old and New Testaments; must include copies of the Pledge of Allegiance, Declaration of Independence, U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights; and must be bound in leather or leather-like material.
A salesperson at Mardel Christian & Education searched, and though they carry 2,900 Bibles, none fit the parameters.
But one Bible fits perfectly: Lee Greenwood’s God Bless the U.S.A. Bible, endorsed by former President Donald Trump and commonly referred to as the Trump Bible. They cost $60 each online, with Trump receiving fees for his endorsement.
See also: Jesus chasing away salesmen in the temple, because they used god to peddle shit to people.
also that part where god snuffed a guy because he was an asshole. I kinda wish he’d go back to doing that. (well. maybe not. I get the feeling my definition of ‘asshole’ and their god’s definition are different.)
I’ve had plenty of asshole moments. Let’s hold off on that one.
like seriously, though, god totally tolerated the existence of all sorts of down right awful people. what kind of asshole do you have to be… to get “fuck you in particular” kind of attention?
Well Jesus is part of the Christian pantheon and those guys are just practicing Judaism with blood magic.
He pissed on his rug.
He probably slept with his wife. Gods hate that shit.