• nifty
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    672 months ago

    This will never stop being funny

      • @undergroundoverground
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        2 months ago

        As long as he said sorry to God before he died and meant it, in Christianity, he’s in heaven.

        Same goes for Hitler, if he meant it.

        If you have a problem with that, no matter how perfect a person you might be, you’ll be in hell instead because, ultimately, it doesn’t matter how bad of a person you are or what sins you’ve committed.

        Only one thing matters.

        If heaven exists, it’ll be full of people like Reagan. You’ll be spending eternity with right wing Christian Conservatives and much, much worse.

        Meanwhile hell will have all the drinkers, the stoners, the ravers, revelers and rascals; it’ll have all the gay people, the hippies and every alternative culture you can think of. Hell will have all the promiscuous people, the people who just love sex and the professionals too. We’ll have all the people who know how to make drugs, the fun ones, and we’ll have none of those judgmental life-haters around, either as they’ll all be in heaven.

        Were gonna have a wicked time. Reagan won’t be welcome, no matter who’s arsehole he’s got his tongue up.

        Sorry, I just ran with it. Its not really at you.

        • @chaogomu
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          12 months ago

          Total absolution isn’t actually a thing in most forms of Christianity except via baptism.

          And baptism can’t be done twice. It’s a one time thing, after that you’re expected to actually live as if you believe. Charity and not sinning and shit.

          Basically you have to try to live like Fred Rogers.

          Jesus was very clear about that in the one time he talked about eternal punishment.

          It was the part welcoming immigrants, feeding the poor, and visiting the prisoners.

          Also the part about not being a hypocrite praying loudly in the street, but being devote and praying in the quiet of your home.

          But that’s regular Jesus. Not Supply Side Jesus.

          Supply Side Jesus can be bribed, so list your local church in your will for instant absolution.

          • @undergroundoverground
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            2 months ago

            You’ll have to let me know what part of the bible says that because its not in any parts that I read.

            While baptism itself is in the bible, baptism absolving sin is something made up centuries later, so that churches could have some of that old school shaman ritual stuff they didnt have any of.

            More so, the only opposing view to the one above would be the Catholic one and their interpretation is problematic at best.

            People really need to check the fine-print on that particular covenant.

            • @chaogomu
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              12 months ago

              The passage is in Mathew 25. Often called the Sheep and the Goats.

              And yeah, it’s all made up with bits and pieces added later by different people, but that passage in Mathew 25 is pretty clear that you have to feed the poor, welcome the immigrant, (or the stranger as found in some translations), visit the prisoner, clothe those who need it, etc.

              And the punishment for not doing these things is everlasting punishment in the fires of hell.

              Fun fact, there’s a Cake song about this passage. Sort of.

              • @undergroundoverground
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                12 months ago

                1 John 1:9 ,

                “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

                Therefore, they will be righteous and included with the sheep and never asked goat (people on the right hand side) questions.

                Like I said, its all about the fine print. Righteousness isn’t the ticket.

                • @chaogomu
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                  22 months ago

                  Ah yes, but confession has to be sincere.

                  But Supply Side Jesus thinks that money equals sincerity. And that Mathew guy sounds woke.

                  Fun fact, to my understanding, Mathew 25 is the only place in the Bible that talks about eternal punishment.

                  There might also be something in Revelations, but that’s all revenge fantasy about Nero.

                  • @undergroundoverground
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                    12 months ago

                    For sure, it has to be real but I would say that believing you’ll spend eternity being tortured would make any apology very sincere.

                    I didn’t know that, thank you.