Nobody asked, but as a gay man I exclusively refer to my husband as “my husband.” I never liked the term “partner.” We didn’t start a business together, and we’re not cops. “Life partner” bothers me less, but it still seems stilted
n+1 here, but I’m a bi woman married to a straight man and I’ve started using partner more recently because there’s a lot of baggage in the history of power dynamics associated with the titles of husband and wife.
I also hope it makes people think for a minute if they need to ask me clarifying questions about my marriage status or sexuality/how the person I’m married to identifies.
At the same time, I totally understand the impact of not using generic words when it comes to gay marriage, where there was such a long fight to be recognized as husband and husband. So cheers to you and your husband!
As a man who has used the term partner in a heterosexual relationship, sometimes it is nice to have a term that implies a bigger commitment than “girlfriend” when you have no intention of marriage. That was definitely how I used it—to convey that this woman doesn’t have a ring, but I give her maximum authority when it comes to my affairs.
I’m glad you had that chance. Marriage is something I never particularly wanted, but I was brought around to the idea by a different lady. Now we are in counseling and things are on the rocks…I think I may still not believe in marriage, but I respect everyone’s right to choose for themselves.
Nobody asked, but as a gay man I exclusively refer to my husband as “my husband.” I never liked the term “partner.” We didn’t start a business together, and we’re not cops. “Life partner” bothers me less, but it still seems stilted
n+1 here, but I’m a bi woman married to a straight man and I’ve started using partner more recently because there’s a lot of baggage in the history of power dynamics associated with the titles of husband and wife.
I also hope it makes people think for a minute if they need to ask me clarifying questions about my marriage status or sexuality/how the person I’m married to identifies.
At the same time, I totally understand the impact of not using generic words when it comes to gay marriage, where there was such a long fight to be recognized as husband and husband. So cheers to you and your husband!
I miss when my gay friends all called their partners “lovers”.
As in literally if they were introducing their boyfriend, it was never “this is my boyfriend Chris” it was “this is Chris, my lover.”
No idea if it was just a local thing but it was just so, well, lovely.
It’s cool to be proud you’re gay. Being proud your straight feels like all lives matter energy.
Same. Gay and married to “my husband”. Before that he was my boyfriend, not my partner.
Yes, my boyfriend! It seems so odd when I see straight people use the term partner. Well, as far as I’m concerned, they can have it.
As a man who has used the term partner in a heterosexual relationship, sometimes it is nice to have a term that implies a bigger commitment than “girlfriend” when you have no intention of marriage. That was definitely how I used it—to convey that this woman doesn’t have a ring, but I give her maximum authority when it comes to my affairs.
Can’t relate. I grew up thinking marriage would always be illegal for me. When I had the opportunity, I took it.
I’m glad you had that chance. Marriage is something I never particularly wanted, but I was brought around to the idea by a different lady. Now we are in counseling and things are on the rocks…I think I may still not believe in marriage, but I respect everyone’s right to choose for themselves.