And the funny thing is, as over the top satirical as you’re being, it’s not actually bad advice. More people die from hippo attacks than sharks or alligators.
Hippos are big dumb assholes, but they are POWERFULL!!! You don’t fuck with hippos, you don’t fuck with moose, and you don’t fuck with polar bears.
You know that phrase about bears? If it’s it’s brown, lay down. If it’s black, fight back."? Well hippos have a phrase too.
And the funny thing is, as over the top satirical as you’re being, it’s not actually bad advice. More people die from hippo attacks than sharks or alligators.
Hippos are big dumb assholes, but they are POWERFULL!!! You don’t fuck with hippos, you don’t fuck with moose, and you don’t fuck with polar bears.
You know that phrase about bears? If it’s it’s brown, lay down. If it’s black, fight back."? Well hippos have a phrase too.
“If it’s a hippo, fuck you!”
Luckily we only have the tardigrades where I am from, those microscopic bears.