For years now, I’ve been watching most of the trick-or-treaters go to the house on one side of me, take one look at my house and walk right past it, and then go to the house on the other side.

I had no clue why. Maybe they were scared of my house or thought I’d give cheap candy (my house is a bit of a fixer-upper)? I completed my “curb appeal” projects; didn’t help.

Maybe they thought nobody was home? I not only have the porch light on, but also have the living room TV on, clearly visible through the (open!) front window, and it makes no difference.

Maybe they think I’m not participating (despite the clear signal of the porch light and jack-o’-lantern)? I put up a bunch of Halloween decorations this year, and it still didn’t help!


Well, I finally found out the reason, after hearing one kid scouting ahead yelling to tell his friends to skip my house: “there’s no bowl on the porch!”

…You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Yep, unlike my neighbors, who had apparently just left unattended bowls of candy on their porches, I was actually sitting there inside the house, with the bowl of candy, waiting for kids to knock or ring the doorbell before I opened the door and handed it out. You know, like how trick-or-treating is supposed to work.

This is ridiculous. Kids these days are skipping viable houses with candy because they can’t be bothered to actually knock on the damn door and say “trick or treat” to the person who answers? Residents are expected to be too lazy to answer the door, and just put out the candy without even receiving the traditional threat first? With no actual interaction with the neighbors for the kids to show off their costumes, what’s even the point‽

I finally stuck a sign on the door saying “yes, you have to knock or ring for candy!” and that helped, but even then, some kids are still skipping my house because they apparently can’t be bothered to read the sign.

  • classic
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    8323 days ago

    Give out the best candy possible to the few who come by. The rumor of the amazing trove will spread. But then “run out” early so that some of them will miss out and learn the lesson for next year

    • Dran
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      3223 days ago

      King size candy bars, give out 2 to each. Everyone always loved that guy

    • @GraniteM
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      623 days ago

      Buying boxes of full-sized candy isn’t even that much more expensive than the fun-sized, and the psychological impact is immediate and dramatic. Every year I hear kids go “Woah, big candy bars!”

        • @GraniteM
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          423 days ago

          It’s a little more expensive, but not dramatically so

          • @[email protected]
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            -323 days ago

            Are you an idiot? You’re showing a picture per ounce. Do you know how Halloween works? You aren’t handing out candy by the ounce. You can buY a 300 piece Hershey Halloween candy bag for $25. Each kid can take 3 and you have enough for about 100 kids. How many regular size candy bars are you going to get for $25? Here’s a hint- it’s a lot less than 100.

            • @wreckedcarzz
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              122 days ago

              Guys, we found the dunce that failed 3rd grade math. They figured out how to use a computer, finally.

              The point of this entire thread is to solve the problem/attract trick or treaters. Not giving out bullshit size bars is a solid way to do that. And the number of those who visit OPs house are low anyway, so it doesn’t fucking matter that ‘bigger means less quantity, das tooped herpaderp’.

              OP is trying to make kids enjoy the event, and the bean counter over here is like ‘we could save money by providing a shittier, smaller product, but more of it - though less overall compared to the standard, shh, nobody will know that - where is my promotion, boss?’.

              To be both incompetent and a smug jerk is impressive though, that’s a skill that will get you places. Not pleasant places, but places.

              • @[email protected]
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                022 days ago

                My response was strictly to the guy above me trying to say giving out full size bars doesn’t cost much more. Learn to read the thread order.