Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ By Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO ☞ https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/
And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.
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Next week’s headlines “Alex Jones appointed as Secretary of State” or some other wackass shit.
Press secretary would be perfect.
Ok, but surgeon general would be hilarious
The Surgeon General hawking supplements in official statements would be peak America.
Full on C. Everett Coop style sending pamphlets to every home in America except instead of it being a genuinely courageous and heroic act of medical ethics, providing information on how to prevent the spread of HIV even when those acts went against his religion, this will be explaining how to prevent the woke mind virus using his leaded brain pills, now with extra cadmium