- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion
- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion
“Exposure to short duration gravity load changes including microgravity, as sustained in a parabolic flight statistically significantly decreases the sperm motility and vitality of human fresh sperm samples,” the team found, adding that this may have huge importance for any prolonged human settlement missions in space.
“In the future, should humans remain in space for long periods of time with exposure to different microgravity and hypergravity peaks, which could range from months to a number of years, reproduction may pose a problem to be tackled.”
The mechanism by which sperm motility was decreased remains unknown, with further study needed.
Wait, how is this a thing? Were they -ahem- draining the men before the flights…?
Wank in a cup pre flight and wank in a cup after.
And the Worst Job in 2024 goes to:
Drumroll
Assistant to the Post Flight Fluffer!
Probably pays pretry good.
I would unironically enjoy my job if i made 150k+ a year just to jack off men for science
Post Flight Fluffer:
“You guys get paid…?!”
Assistant Post Flight Fluffer
You’d also need to repeat the experiment as a control (ideally still doing as much of the same things to account for other variables). For best accuracy you’d need the same group returning another day, going through the same boarding process without takeoff, and tracking the exact time between wanks.