I feel like the world has placed an challenge on my shoulders I cannot and will not overcome, from a young age I’ve been considered unattractive, people treated me as if I wasn’t human, people used to use tissue paper to hand me things, make faces at me and treat me as if I was sick. On top of this I have abused by my father, when I was 14 I realized I was a women and thought hrt would fix me if I just held out long enough to start it, unfortunately after 3 years hrt, a year on injections many elements of myself are horrible, the only difference is I get the same treatment mixed in with transphobia, i feel like the only reasonable conclusion I can come to is death. I’m sorry I feel like the world wanted me to prove you don’t have to be attractive to be trans. Unfortunately that weight has proved way to much, I’m sorry to my friends I know they tried and tried, but I know normal people can only do much. I’m sorry to society, I know my life was supposed be some learning lessons but fuck I’m a human bein
It’s not about learning lessons. There’s no grand narrative to life other than what we come up with.
From your posts, it’s become clear that I can’t convince you to not hate yourself. Only you can decide to self love, not anyone else. You absolutely will not get better until you recognize how loveable you are.
There wouldn’t be a lesson for anyone in your death, just tragedy and pain. We’ll always be here for you, but that will not matter unless you’re there for yourself.