Not saying that this is the only cause of divorce, or even the leading cause. I’m just saying that there are a lot of women out there who romanticise the wedding itself. Almost like the relationship, the wedding itself, is irrelevant.

Which totally misses the conceptual point of getting married in the first place. Some women just like the idea of having a big party, with all their friends and family, making them the center of attention for a day.

Which is FINE. If women want to have that happen, I feel like maybe we SHOULD make that a whole seperate other thing. Like a new holiday or maybe we combine the concept with their birthday.

It’s just the concept we have now, the average wedding from the time the man thinks “I’m going to marry her” all the way through the first day they get back from their honeymoon…that entire process costs an average of $100,000. From the dress, to the ring, to the hall rental, to the wedding planner, to the catering, to the flight, and hotel, and rental car, and everything else that comes with the wedding, average cost is $100,000.

And the second you call anything a “wedding” anything, it skyrockets in price. Want a cake? Ok, sure, $30. Want a “wedding cake”? Yeah, $250.

You want a big poofy white dress? Hey is this a wedding dress? No. This is a wedding dress replica. It’s being used to shoot a wedding scene in an independant movie. We’re just buying the material. Yeah, ok. $70.

Oh, this dress is actually in a wedding? $2,000.

And I know this just seems like I’m just complaining about money. But it all ties together. Because if you ask most women what they dream about when they think about their dream wedding, they have this long list of things, and everything needs to be perfect, and the planning itself, the wedding party and appearance becomes an extention of themselves. If this is the womans first wedding, it really becomes a mirror of who they are are a person. This is why you should NEVER trust a guy with the wedding planning. At all. Unless you’re willing to give up total control. Instead of your favorite flowers creating an arch that you walk under to get into the building? What if we instead had flame throwers that CONSTANTLY spewed flames which prevented you from getting in. And to stop the flames, you need to answer 3 riddles about the couple getting married. And if you get it wrong, a bunch of royal knights in platemail armor stab you with haberts until you get it right…or bleed out. And once you get inside the hall, all the hall vendors are cosplaying as classic pro wrestlers. Imagine coming in, and seeing Macho Man Randy Savage holding a plate of cheeses, and saying “OOOOH YEAH! TRY THE SWISS, IT’S AS GOOD AS MISS!!! ELIZABETH THAT IS! OR TRY THE CHEDDER! IT’LL KNOCK YOU OUT OF YOUR SWEATER!!! DIG IT!!!” Then he snaps into a slim jim.

See to me, that sounds awesome, and just as expensive as whatever the fuck would have been planned otherwise. But I also realize every woman who’s in the current process of planning a wedding, read what I just wrote how I’d plan it, and they physically recoiled in cringe. And you’re remembering that last week you asked your boyfriend what he wants at the wedding. And he said “whatever you want”. And you tried to fight him about it, saying he needs to include his ideas.

No the fuck he doesn’t. THESE are the ideas we create, and we know they aren’t going to happen. Our ideas are not “good” from your perspective. Our ideas will cause fights. Because at the end of the day, you already know exactly what you want. You’ve been planning it since you were 5 years old, and you don’t need any input from us. We’re just going to screw it up. You just want to ask what we envision at the wedding, and you’re under the delusional idea that we’re going to say “White roses on every table, and all the groomsmen have green pockets on their suit vests.” Or whatever the fuck is in your head. We’re not going to say that. We’ve never in our lives had THAT vision. We know the wedding is going to look like how you want it to look. So we just say “Whatever you want to do, that’s it.” We stay out of it, because we don’t want to start a fight over something we know we’re going to lose anyways. That’s a dumb fight. Telling a woman how to plan their wedding.

Well. I’m a dumb guy. Let me have a go.

The reason a decent percentage of these weddings end the relationships is because the money involved has no benefit to the couples long term happyness, and adds nothing to their lives. It’s a big expensive party for the sake of a big expensive party. Nothing more.

And I hear you saying “But it’s to celebrate the love between two people, and create a bond that will last a lifetime!”

No. Believe it or not, you can get married without all that stuff. The whole idea of a marriage, if you simplify it to it’s core concept, is that you both have signed a paper informing the government that you are now a legalized couple within the country of residence that you got married. That’s IT. You can both go down to the courthouse right now, fill out a form, sign it, and now you’re married. I don’t know what those forms cost, but I would assume about $100. And then you’d both go home to where you already live.

So you’re saying “That sounds like a terrible wedding”. And the issue here is, you’re confusing the wedding PARTY with the idea of MARRIAGE.

So if you get proposed to, ask yourself this. Would you still marry this man if he insisted there were no party. No flowers. No big hall. No poofy white dress, no dancing, no family or friends, no big cake, no big vacation afterwards. Just you, him, city hall, a pen, and a form. Maybe a minister if the idea of religion is important to your marriage.

If you are in love with the person you’re marrying, it might be disappointing, but it shouldn’t be a deal breaker. If it’s a deal breaker, you don’t love the man. You love the idea of being the center of attention. And that, plus the huge amount of savings you’re blowing, is the reason for the divorces. The party has ended. The party has brought you hard financial times, and you were never in love with the person to begin with. So now, they have nothing left to offer you.

Again, I’m not claiming this is the only reason, or even the leading reason for divorce. I’m just saying it’s a significant percentage.