I’ve always wondered this. Some people have trouble with dating because they try to go for people out of their league who don’t like them back. But society also tells us that we can’t choose who we are attracted to. Like for example, no one makes a “choice” to be gay.
So what happens when you’re only attracted to those out of their league that will never ever like them back?
Do the people with this issue still date? But when they date, they lie to their partner that they are into them? I have been on a couple of dates with someone I wasn’t into before. It make me incredibly guilty and dishonest that I did not like them back.
Curious as to the experience/thoughts of others.
Apologies if this is the wrong community. I will remove on request. Thanks.
Leagues are a lie. Take the leap, you won’t die.
While nice of you to say, it’s not particularly realistic. Some dude from My 600 Lb Life is not dating Angelina Jolie unless there is something else going on.
Dude, there is always something else going on.
Relationships are not 1-dimension concepts formed on appearances. They are complex, with many facets and details that go into it.
Have you ever seen a couple and wondered “why is someone so hot with someone that ugly?” That’s because it’s not built in looks alone. Maybe he’s confident, or rich, or a good listener, or he’s good with kids, or any of a thousand other good qualities. Realistically it’s a combination of them all, because these don’t exist in isolation. And it applies in both directions. What changes are the criteria (e g. Men aren’t expected to have perfect skin, women aren’t expected to be confident. Generally)
Luckily there are people from all classes who 90% of the time are equally as beautiful as AJ. They just dont get professionally done up for photos and movies. You aren’t wrong, the world simply contains all of these things.
You are not dating Angelina Jolie because she doesn’t know you and is involved with someone else entirely. While looks might make for an easier first impression personality is much more important in the long run. Believe me, from one 1 to another.
What you’re describing is two opposite ends of a bell curve. Most people are in the large middle range of being normal (average) looking.
Right. I was using dramatics to make a point. I’m not attracted to “normal” people. I lack the ability. I can’t choose it and I understand it’s stupid.
Why do you say that? Do you actually believe that there’s a strict hierarchy of dating that everyone has to stay within? The whole “leagues” BS only sorta exists in society because some people believe in it.
Reminds me of a story my French teacher told me in HS:
One year he organized a class trip to Haiti for his students. Weird, I know, but it was a wealthy private school that could afford A) to send a class abroad and B) the security to reassure their parents that they’d be safe. Anyway, in the class there was a “plus-sized” girl who would get picked on by the rich skinny girls all the time. Queue the trip and apparently it became such a issue for the girl getting cat-called on the streets that a guard was assigned to be with her 24/7. None of the thin, fit, SoCal circa-early-Naughties, girls had this problem but in Haiti being “plus sized” meant you had access to lots of food and were wealthy. Anyway, moral of the story (and this part is apocryphal but was nevertheless told to me) is that the girl at some point exchanged contact info with a guy she met there, one of her prospective suitors, and kept a correspondence with him for many years until they were able to save enough money to meet in person again, here, stateside where they eventually got married. Eye of the beholder.
No, I don’t think there is a hierarchy anyone has to stay within. I am simply not attracted to 99% of people. The 1% I am are ultra attractive and thus not attractive to me or other “regular” people. I wish I could force myself to be attracted to others but I just can’t.
I’m not attracted to 99% of people either? I don’t see what your point is. Maybe you think you’re only into “ultra attractive” people because… you’re attracted to them? I’d love to hear what your “type” is.