“We have intercepted electronic communication indicating that al-Qaeda members are actively plotting to stay out of the way while America as we know it gradually crumbles under the weight of its own self-inflicted debt and disrepair,” FBI Deputy Director Mark F. Giuliano told the assembled press corps. “If this plan succeeds, it will leave behind a nation with a completely dysfunctional economy, collapsing infrastructure, and a catastrophic health crisis afflicting millions across the nation. We want to emphasize that this danger is very real.”

    • sp3ctr4l
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      9 hours ago

      Good writers are too expensive, just ask ChatGPT to redo the opening scene of Inglorious Basterds with a family of Guatemalans hiding underneath the floorboards of suburban house in Austin.

    • @kreskin
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      04 hours ago

      So much enshitification in the US in the past decade, across nearly every conceivable metric. But I’m told by the DNC that I’ve never had it so good.