We got here (Blackburn) on Tuesday, but we are only here temporarily while I look for work. Right now, she is talking to her U.S. friends online until after midnight, which means she will not get used to the time change at all and isn’t really finding a way to learn about cultural norms, so I want her to find people here to talk to in order to make those less of a problem. Since we’re only here temporarily, her making local friends might not be the best plan, so I’m hoping people here might have kids that would be interested in getting in touch online.
My daughter is gay and autistic (but very high-functioning). Both of those issues complicate things a little in terms of adjusting to UK culture in various ways and having other teens help her adjust would also be great. We are going to check the local youth centre, but as I said, she is also a bit shy, so I don’t know really how to get her to talk to kids there. That’s why I’m trying to take the initiative here on her behalf.
She is way into Japanese stuff, but the Japanese stuff she’s into is a less popular stuff than, say, Fullmetal Alchemist anime. She does like anime, but she says she only likes “obscure” anime for the most part. Other Japanese things: she is addicted to Japanese electronic music from the 70s and 80s, especially Yellow Magic Orchestra, and loves Sanrio. She’s trying to learn the language as well.
She also is kind of a punk rocker, but not in a get in the mosh pit way, just in an enjoy the music and dress punky way.
Other big interests: lost media, classic animation (we’re talking 1930s here), abandoned buildings and urban exploration, cult movies, and really anything odd or obscure she learns about that she can do a deep dive into. Oddly, despite not playing video games anymore, she is still very interested in learning and talking about them, especially ones from the early days.
What can I say? She’s an eccentric kid and she will talk your ear off about any of those things if you let her. Anyone got a kid that might be into talking with her over Discord or some other way of getting in touch?
I can’t help, but I can give my experience on time-zone adaption.
It depends on the individual, but (based on my attempts) there’s not much you can do to get a kid to just go to sleep earlier (especially if they have a reason to stay up late). So all I can do is have work on the waking-up time.
Pull back the waking time a little earlier each day (30 minutes or so, but not more than an hour earlier a day). Start with 8 hours from their current sleep time, even if it’s they’re currently going to sleep at 7am (which is typical if arriving in the UK from the west coast). Aim for a sliding window of “acceptable sleep time” that’s 8 hours or so and try to pull it back each day.
Outside of the bedtime hours, random naps may happen while trying to adapt, but don’t let them last too long. Maybe 90 minues, since that’s meant to be the deep/light sleep cycle. Too often I’ve been fooled, thinking “Great! The kids are asleep by 1am! Progress!” only to have them wake up 3 hours later and be up until 9.
You get the occasional relapse too (although usually in the first few days) were you think everyone’s adapting and then someone just flakes out at some random time, but I just try to keep to the sliding bedtime window as best I can.
I appreciate the advice. I’m sort of working that way. I just know that if she didn’t think the only kids she could talk to were 5 hours behind her, it would be a lot easier.