We got here (Blackburn) on Tuesday, but we are only here temporarily while I look for work. Right now, she is talking to her U.S. friends online until after midnight, which means she will not get used to the time change at all and isn’t really finding a way to learn about cultural norms, so I want her to find people here to talk to in order to make those less of a problem. Since we’re only here temporarily, her making local friends might not be the best plan, so I’m hoping people here might have kids that would be interested in getting in touch online.
My daughter is gay and autistic (but very high-functioning). Both of those issues complicate things a little in terms of adjusting to UK culture in various ways and having other teens help her adjust would also be great. We are going to check the local youth centre, but as I said, she is also a bit shy, so I don’t know really how to get her to talk to kids there. That’s why I’m trying to take the initiative here on her behalf.
She is way into Japanese stuff, but the Japanese stuff she’s into is a less popular stuff than, say, Fullmetal Alchemist anime. She does like anime, but she says she only likes “obscure” anime for the most part. Other Japanese things: she is addicted to Japanese electronic music from the 70s and 80s, especially Yellow Magic Orchestra, and loves Sanrio. She’s trying to learn the language as well.
She also is kind of a punk rocker, but not in a get in the mosh pit way, just in an enjoy the music and dress punky way.
Other big interests: lost media, classic animation (we’re talking 1930s here), abandoned buildings and urban exploration, cult movies, and really anything odd or obscure she learns about that she can do a deep dive into. Oddly, despite not playing video games anymore, she is still very interested in learning and talking about them, especially ones from the early days.
What can I say? She’s an eccentric kid and she will talk your ear off about any of those things if you let her. Anyone got a kid that might be into talking with her over Discord or some other way of getting in touch?
Do you know which area you’re going to end up living in yet? The reason I ask is because there are services aimed towards kids with autism and ADHD, where they can meet other kids in the same situation, and potentially make friends. They’re obviously focused on their own areas though, and as far as I know, don’t put the kids in touch with kids from other areas.
There can be a stigma around groups like these, as people assume that it’s only people with more severe issues who need them, but my nine year old has been going to one for several years, and for most of the kids it’s just somewhere where they don’t have to mask. It’s really helped my kid to have an outlet away from school, and to meet other ‘different’ kids. I haven’t looked at the groups for older kids yet, but I’d be surprised if there wasn’t a provision.
Something else that might be useful for you both, are the various coffee mornings that have sprung up since Covid. They tend to be aimed towards helping with mental health, but a lot of them are more like an excuse to get out of the house and meet people. I visit one once a week which is run by Signpost Cymru, a mental health charity, so it means that they’ve got access to mental health resources if anyone needs them. It’s very handy, and like I said, gets me out of the house for a few hours and talking to people I wouldn’t have otherwise met.
No, no idea at all. Probably nowhere here because I’m fucking it all up.
Be kind to yourself. You’re in a new city in a new country, where everything’s similar to what you know, but different enough to be confusing, and you’re doing it to make sure that your family is safe. I would imagine that you’re tired from the move, the travel, and the job search, but you’re still making an effort to put your daughter first.
I don’t post a lot here, but I lurk most days, and from what I’ve read, you seem like a good guy. Take a breath and take care of yourself too, you’ll get there :)