This is a learned effect. We got so battered during childhood that we internalised the criticism, but lost track of the praise (if any was given).
A good solution is “basking”. Take the time that a task took. You should allow yourself to bask in that achievement for at least half that amount of time. This includes bragging to friends and family etc.
This helps to recondition your brain. You’re ALLOWED to feel good about getting stuff done. You’re allowed to sit back and just feel happy about it. This starts retraining your brain to give you that hit. That, in turn, makes the jobs/chores a positive thing, and so your more likely to get it done.
Another trick that’s related and worth mentioning.
Externalise the negatives.
I know, at least personally, my thoughts can lense around problems. I train myself not to even think about them. I’ve found this is because I beat myself up internally. This is quite counterproductive. I learn to avoid the problem, while eroding my sense of self. Instead, direct it outwards.
This is easier by example. E.g. washing up. I used to get annoyed with myself for not doing it. This made me avoid it, and so feel worse. I now direct my annoyance at the washing up itself. It’s ugly and smells. There’s old food congealing on my plate. There’s mold and nastiness growing there. I WANT it GONE!
While this seems silly, its effect is huge. If I don’t get it done, I don’t feel negative about it, I’m annoyed with it. Once I do get it done, it now feels good. I made the problem go away! I no longer lense away from it. My brain actually wants to get it done.
This is a learned effect. We got so battered during childhood that we internalised the criticism, but lost track of the praise (if any was given).
A good solution is “basking”. Take the time that a task took. You should allow yourself to bask in that achievement for at least half that amount of time. This includes bragging to friends and family etc.
This helps to recondition your brain. You’re ALLOWED to feel good about getting stuff done. You’re allowed to sit back and just feel happy about it. This starts retraining your brain to give you that hit. That, in turn, makes the jobs/chores a positive thing, and so your more likely to get it done.
Another trick that’s related and worth mentioning.
Externalise the negatives.
I know, at least personally, my thoughts can lense around problems. I train myself not to even think about them. I’ve found this is because I beat myself up internally. This is quite counterproductive. I learn to avoid the problem, while eroding my sense of self. Instead, direct it outwards.
This is easier by example. E.g. washing up. I used to get annoyed with myself for not doing it. This made me avoid it, and so feel worse. I now direct my annoyance at the washing up itself. It’s ugly and smells. There’s old food congealing on my plate. There’s mold and nastiness growing there. I WANT it GONE!
While this seems silly, its effect is huge. If I don’t get it done, I don’t feel negative about it, I’m annoyed with it. Once I do get it done, it now feels good. I made the problem go away! I no longer lense away from it. My brain actually wants to get it done.