Wouldn’t that be THE BEST social media community where messages like that would actually happen? I would love to be a part of an open undivisive group of people who would write things like “Hey, I’m Joe, I do this and that and noticed you, lets band if you like” or “I’m jenna, I do the creative work for XY instance, lets connect”. That would be really cool. The problem is as always that we can not trust these messages because of the last decade of misuse on various platforms. Even if we take out all the scams, we only accept the right message in the right medium: If someone would write me what OP posted on LinkedIn, I would read it as a business inquire connection (at best). If she would write me that on Tinder&co, I would take it as an avance. If I would get a message like that on facebook, I do not believe in it as a honest request anymore. On Insta I would read it as a scam too. But where is the place where I can get a message like that and trust it as it is the norm in that social network? McLuhan said “The Medium is the Message”. We need a Platform/Network/Medium to give a room to actually send a message like that where a connection without the aspect of business or sex is assumed because of the choosen Platform/Network/Medium.
The Fediverse will not solve this problem sadly, as it is mainly just decentralized, but is not out to solve societary tilts and disgraces. But it is nice to think that such a place/site/room could exist (one day?) where a person (even of another gender) could have an exchange like that without bad intentions. As usally, The good ones are silent, and the loud ones are scams.
But where is the place where I can get a message like that and trust it as it is the norm in that social network? McLuhan said “The Medium is the Message”
I’m not sure this is possible on the internet in general. Even in the early days of facebook people were forced to grow suspicious of their old acquaintances reaching out to say hi only to be hit with some “be your own boss!” MLM schtick, and that was when you could be fairly confident the sender was a real person that you actually have known for some time. Not to mention how suspicious we all are of some of the “living my best life!” type of humble-brag posts that are really just sad people playing pretend.
Add a layer of anonymity and I’m just not sure genuine trust could ever be possible. Try to take away anonymity and you wander into the quagmire that is personal privacy and still can’t avoid the possibility of scams and compromised accounts.
I think that the Internet as a Medium simply cannot do what we have been trying to force it to do for years - serve as a good “third place” for socialization. Do people make friends here? Absolutely. But people make friends in the ICU, doesn’t mean we should install a bar there.
The problem isn’t that we feel we can’t trust them. It’s that we actually can’t trust them. Trusting someone that messages you that way is likely to end up with you in a bathtub full of ice, or at the very least, a compromised bank account.
Most people are open and friendly but you have to meet them in real life.
I signed up for dinner with strangers thing, meeting five random strangers I didn’t know before. Every single one was friendly and open about their lives.
We all need to be very careful not to think social media is real life. Outside of all this, most people are decent, specially when a bit older.
Yeah, but also, such a thing could only result in meaningful physical relationships if the servers/communities have some kind of “local” association. For example, a server for france, one for italy, and one for the netherlands, you know what i mean?
Otherwise, if you just want to flirt and be silly, i recommend the [email protected] community comment sections.
Besides all that drama of OP:
Wouldn’t that be THE BEST social media community where messages like that would actually happen? I would love to be a part of an open undivisive group of people who would write things like “Hey, I’m Joe, I do this and that and noticed you, lets band if you like” or “I’m jenna, I do the creative work for XY instance, lets connect”. That would be really cool. The problem is as always that we can not trust these messages because of the last decade of misuse on various platforms. Even if we take out all the scams, we only accept the right message in the right medium: If someone would write me what OP posted on LinkedIn, I would read it as a business inquire connection (at best). If she would write me that on Tinder&co, I would take it as an avance. If I would get a message like that on facebook, I do not believe in it as a honest request anymore. On Insta I would read it as a scam too. But where is the place where I can get a message like that and trust it as it is the norm in that social network? McLuhan said “The Medium is the Message”. We need a Platform/Network/Medium to give a room to actually send a message like that where a connection without the aspect of business or sex is assumed because of the choosen Platform/Network/Medium.
The Fediverse will not solve this problem sadly, as it is mainly just decentralized, but is not out to solve societary tilts and disgraces. But it is nice to think that such a place/site/room could exist (one day?) where a person (even of another gender) could have an exchange like that without bad intentions. As usally, The good ones are silent, and the loud ones are scams.
That’s basically how people introduced themselves on the public discord servers I frequented during the pandemic and it was normal
I’m not sure this is possible on the internet in general. Even in the early days of facebook people were forced to grow suspicious of their old acquaintances reaching out to say hi only to be hit with some “be your own boss!” MLM schtick, and that was when you could be fairly confident the sender was a real person that you actually have known for some time. Not to mention how suspicious we all are of some of the “living my best life!” type of humble-brag posts that are really just sad people playing pretend.
Add a layer of anonymity and I’m just not sure genuine trust could ever be possible. Try to take away anonymity and you wander into the quagmire that is personal privacy and still can’t avoid the possibility of scams and compromised accounts.
I think that the Internet as a Medium simply cannot do what we have been trying to force it to do for years - serve as a good “third place” for socialization. Do people make friends here? Absolutely. But people make friends in the ICU, doesn’t mean we should install a bar there.
No, that’s not a thing I would want to be involved with.
I don’t know what drama you think op is introducing
The loneliness epidemic in a nutshell: we feel we can’t trust people being open and friendly.
That isn’t normal, by the way.
The problem isn’t that we feel we can’t trust them. It’s that we actually can’t trust them. Trusting someone that messages you that way is likely to end up with you in a bathtub full of ice, or at the very least, a compromised bank account.
I didn’t mean to say the well hasn’t been poisoned, only that we need a source of water.
Yeah that’s a pretty concise sitrep.
Most people are open and friendly but you have to meet them in real life.
I signed up for dinner with strangers thing, meeting five random strangers I didn’t know before. Every single one was friendly and open about their lives.
We all need to be very careful not to think social media is real life. Outside of all this, most people are decent, specially when a bit older.
Mastadon is this way for me
Yeah, but also, such a thing could only result in meaningful physical relationships if the servers/communities have some kind of “local” association. For example, a server for france, one for italy, and one for the netherlands, you know what i mean?
Otherwise, if you just want to flirt and be silly, i recommend the [email protected] community comment sections.