• @yesman
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    1239 hours ago

    This is is patriarchy in real time. He’s attacking that guy’s masculinity as a public reminder that real men enforce gender norms even in the most intimate relationships. It’s preying on insecurity to control men to control women.

    This kind of gender enforcement is pretty common for boys aged 4 until death. The trick of the true oppressor is to get you to surveil yourself.

    • @[email protected]
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      95 hours ago

      It takes strength and confidence to go against societal expectations. If anything I would say the man’s living his best life and nobody is going to peer pressure him into being miserable.

      The men pressuring others are miserable themselves and are only so uptight about it because someone forced that on them. It’s like some weird chain of people not minding their own business because if they can’t be free nobody can.

      • Flying Squid
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        63 hours ago

        I mean he’s married to an extremely successful woman who is worth, according to my searching, $1.4 billion.

        I’d stay home with the kids too. Please be my sugar mommy, hot billionaire. I will live in your luxury mansion if all it takes is changing diapers and stuff.

    • qyron
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      7 hours ago

      Allow me to share a small personal story. An anecdote, as it is often called.

      I was home for ten years with my children. I changed diapers, took care of meals and chores, and when it was time for it, I took my children to pre-school.

      Being a stay at home father, being present for my children, was trampled on by teachers and the mothers of other children. It was disrespectful, demeaning. I was unwelcomed and unwanted. Some even tried to create a narrative that I was a danger to the children.

      Women were more vitriolic and systematic in their gender affirmation than men.

      That is extremely sad and telling.

      The guy in the post is an idiot and being told to shut up and told off, followed by perhaps a couple of punches to the teeth would be enough to get him to stay quiet.

      Women would not be so easy to handle.

      • Queen HawlSera
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        5 hours ago

        This. I’m trans and I’ve existed in public as both a man and a woman.

        Nothing is more soul-crushing than being called The Devil simply for being of a sex that isn’t even one you want to be!

        One of the few Right Wing talking points that I sort of agree with is the idea that men are demonized just for existing, because they REALLY are. I’m not surprised men are responding with hostility to being told their very masculinity is toxic.

        Don’t get me wrong, Dudebros are still fucking awful, but… “I get it” if that makes sense.

        Doesn’t mean I recommend anyone takes Andrew Tate or Jordan Peterson’s advice and no incels are not based, but… damn ya know.

        • @[email protected]
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          156 hours ago

          This is one of the primary things pushing young men toward the right. I always try to point that out and advocate against the relentless bashing, but that just gets me called misogynist or told that they just need to suck it up and deal with it. It sucks.

          • Queen HawlSera
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            85 hours ago

            We need to tell men that it’s okay for boys to cry, and that if someone hurts them we promise not to laugh at them, and we need to fucking mean it.

          • qyron
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            86 hours ago

            Because you’re seen as pushing back on the feminist agenda. Funny thing, feminism is about equality, not reversing roles nor pushing down individuals.

            • @[email protected]
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              116 hours ago

              Same type of people who think they’re feminists but then openly laugh at the idea of the male loneliness epidemic

          • Queen HawlSera
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            55 hours ago

            This is why I believe the virtue we need more than any other is forgiveness.

            To be honest, I’d be all for legislation that makes a criminal record less damning.

            Think about it. If you tell someone “We’re not going to hire you, we’re not going to help you in anyway, and we’re not even going to recognize your basic humanity you’re a criminal and that’s all you’ll ever be!”

            Will they aspire to better themselves, change how people see them, pick themselves up by their bootstraps, and try to find a foot in the door?

            Or are they going to say “Well, if I’m a criminal, that’s all I’ll ever be and I have bills to pay, I guess I better rob a convenience store so I don’t starve to death.”

            The former makes for a feel good story, but the latter’s going to be more realistic.

            If you tell someone they’re worthless because of X, then they will live up to the label. You need to BELIEVE in someone and give them a real chance to change their ways, we cannot be defined solely by our mistakes or we will always be the worst versions of ourselves.

            And in the case of what’s happening with men, they’re not even being judged by their mistakes. They’re not even being allowed to make mistakes, for too many have already declared them guilty by association with the penis.

            They say that men are afraid women will laugh at them, but the truth is, men are afraid that women will have them arrested for the crime of maleness.

            This is why I will never call myself a Feminist, I prefer the term Egalitarian. For I will not stoop to misandry (As Modern Feminism has often been accused of, as boys are constantly left behind while their female peers are given a leg up), nor racism (Anyone else familiar with the term “White Feminism”?)

      • @[email protected]
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        1 hour ago

        This right here is why I think trans rights hits so hard for so many people. Despite most not even knowing anyone trans.

        That targeted harassment against men is for minor stuff like being a good father. Having never met a trans woman, people assume they are “really a man”. It also doesn’t help that the most visible trans people are early on in the process. So they see a man who has way overshot those gender norms and that harassment goes to extreme levels. Despite them being an actual woman and not playing that game.

        This is just one example of how trans rights affect everyone. If someone can completely change genders without any harassment then people like stay at home dads can live in peace as well.

      • @HasturInYellow
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        27 hours ago

        I am of the belief that a woman would respond similarly to a couple punches to the teeth. ,Fuck around and find out. I’m not enforcing gender roles out here.

        • @[email protected]
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          5 hours ago

          The societal reaction though would be very different and in favour of the woman. For an example a few months ago some English tourist was in Sydney, got annoyed at some guy waving a flag around her, sucker punched the guy in the head from behind, and received one punch back plus a free broken jaw as her prize.

          Now check out how it was reported - it’s all about how bad it was for the man to punch a woman and the pretty important fact of her assaulting the man before getting said punch is mentioned once in passing (and it being a punch from behind with the man not aware is not mentioned at all, which is relevant because this is normally highlighted as a ‘coward punch’ in Australian media).

        • qyron
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          36 hours ago

          You see that happen?

          If it was a man doing it, it would be called assault. Another woman would be called out for not being proper and, again, assault.

          Hard to uproot these bad actors.

    • @[email protected]
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      6 hours ago

      THERES NOTHING MORE STRAIGHT THAN BEING THE ALPHA MALE IN A SEA OF OTHER MALES.

      DOMINATE THE WEAKER MALES.

      MAKE THEM KNOW THEIR PLACE.

      DO NOT THINK ABOUT THEIR NON-ALPHA PENISES OR THEIR CUTE LITTLE BUTTS.

      FOR YOU, YOU ARE THE MOST ALPHA OF ALPHAS.