WASHINGTON—Rebuking President Trump’s decision to pardon Jan. 6 rioters, Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) staunchly vowed this week to continue falling down stairs in the face of an apparent fascist takeover. “I can no longer physically stand upright for a party that excuses a violent insurrection that targeted our Capitol,” the 82-year-old lawmaker said as he […]
The Onion has been firing on all cylinders today.
The Onion doesn’t have to aim to hit anything anymore.
The good news is everything is a hit. The bad news is the entire Battleship board is covered by your opponent.
Today? They’ve been amazing for like…30 years or more.